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Kevin Eli Jan 2017
It's been a year since you did that
I've been trying to come back
Ignore it but you spread it and people think I'm a rat?
I asked for a bed, not for some head
Liquor still in me, now I'd rather be dead.

Your friends tell me what you think?
"She liked you, go apologize for making this stink"
But that's the funny thing.
While I'm distracted with death, your attention and ego sinks.
So the months fly past, while you cut me off at the pass,
Spread the rumors with a few drinks,
But with little-to-no class.
Sorry would've worked, but now you look like an ***.

I woke up spinning, retracing the fact
We walk downstairs past your parents,
You were hot but annoying as "**** that"
My silence was a red flag, my poetry the clap back.
You can talk all you want but God knows you ain't that.
You'd been weighed, you'd been measured,
I felt you took advantage, many agree that you have.
And the rest of you are wondering why I'm so ******* mad?

Don't tell me the fault is my own
When the first apology I owned
And the conversation's being held in my home.
When the shoes on the other, and the tables have turned,
You wouldn't be getting off,
You'd be in jail or hell getting burned.

You think you're the pentagon; fly as a **** Drone,
Bad communication, embarrassment, I know
But you plan with Folly to bomb the bridges and roads.
I don't drink in public as much, but that's partly my own.
I'm walking out, not a victim, but the wiser, stronger soul.
Unlike you, I don't have to live with that conscience or hole.
God save you and your spineless followers full of bull.

****, I hope you hear this. Round and round you'd go.
There you'd fall spiraling as I stare far down below.
Goodbye, good riddance, may God have no mercy on your soul.
If it's a girl it's called ****, but if it's a boy it gets old.
Kevin Eli Sep 2012
I step through
Giving way to
Those that break me
Take me
Give me what I need
To suffer in serenity.
Break my being in two.

Creeping over me,
Melting off the mold which hides
Fires burn
Yet stop the movement inside.

Don't give into the hate of the free
It's free of the hate in you and me.

Still like a light,
Sun, skin, the blood inside of me
Gives me consideration
into what my past and tense will be.
That feeling comes over me again.
Like a cover over my eyes
Once again blinding what I see.

Save me.
Kevin Eli May 2014
Rusted train tracks slip down the road, winding into the fog.
Memories of old shows and carnivals brings me back to a time when I thought cotton candy and hot dogs were sacred.

I reach into my pocket to find twenty-nine cents.
The change from the Coca-Cola I bought that day when I was traveling for the first time alone. Three hours, Los Angeles to San Diego.

I remember my mother and father telling me to cherish the time we had together on our family vacations. I was never afraid of flying or got sick in cars or boats, but homesick? I was always looking for my origin.

In the final hours before sunset, tumbleweeds tip-toe and roll across those tracks which travel to all roads and counties, residing at this final crossing.

I didn't wait for the train to arrive before I started walking.
Kevin Eli Jan 2013
My friend Scott and Fred...
They were my heroes.
Fred, the ex-convict and drug addict,
Finally came into the good guy and family man he was supposed to be.
Scott was my group leader.
The nicest guy you will ever meet.
Young, good looking, with a **** good head on the man's shoulders.
They were trying so hard.
Fred moved out of the home.
Once he got out, it only took 11 days.
He fell... and he took Scott with him too.
Now they are on the list of people for whom I pray.
Only one in five of us here are supposed to survive.
Please God, let me stay alive...
Let me live today.
****** destroys more than lives...
Kevin Eli Feb 2017
If only an angel or supernatural could pluck up this mortal fate and twist the coil that can spring life forth once again.

Like a jack-in-the-box torn out of his nuzzled crate, I don't know where I am or if I can walk.

My novelty was taken away by some phantom, a stranger which had no care or thought.

I used to have a painted smile on my face.
To surprise and laugh was my only plot.

Now I'm tossed among the piled heap: Forgiven, but also forgotten.
Kevin Eli Sep 2014
Eye on the TV
'cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavour
It happens to be like;
Killed by the husband
Drowned by the ocean
Shot by his own son
She used the poison in his tea
And kissed him goodbye
That's my kind of story
It's no fun 'til someone dies

Don't look at me like
I am a monster
Frown out your one face
But with the other
Stare like a ******
Into the TV
Stare like a zombie
While the mother
Holds her child
Watches him die
Hands to the sky crying
Why, oh why?
'cause I need to watch things die
From a distance

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all need it too, don't lie

Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit it?

We won't give pause until the blood is flowing
Neither the brave nor bold
The writers of stories sold
We won't give pause until the blood is flowing

I need to watch things die
From a good safe distance

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so
Why can't we just admit it?

Blood like rain come down
Drawn on grave and ground

Part vampire
Part warrior
Carnivore and ******
Stare at the transmittal
Sing to the death rattle

La, la, la, la, la, la, la-lie

Credulous at best, your desire to believe in angels in the hearts of men.
Pull your head on out your hippy haze and give a listen.
Shouldn't have to say it all again.
The universe is hostile. so Impersonal. devour to survive.
So it is. So it's always been.

We all feed on tragedy
It's like blood to a vampire

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
Much better you than I
By: Tool (10,000 Days)

Written by Bryan Adams, Justin Chancellor, Maynard James Keenan and Danny Carey.

[Likely the only song lyrics I will ever post that I do not own.]
W
Kevin Eli Jul 2014
W
With wandering wicker wings; wavering, wilting, withering.
Wake with wisdom.  
Walk working wonders.
Wish without wincing, wherever wild worlds wait.
wandering wings wake wisdom wish worlds wild
Kevin Eli Dec 2014
Autumn leaves fall
Rain turns to snow
Through the winter until spring
When the sun begins to show
Kevin Eli Mar 2013
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Time flows, just like wind, water and our blood inside of us. Just let it go.
Kevin Eli Jan 2013
I can be a liar, I can be an honest man
I can cheat and steal, I can be fair and giving
I can find sadness, I can find happiness
I can be jealous, I can be trusting

I can be more, I can be less

I can be loving, I can be hateful
I can be here, I can be gone
I can be compassionate, I can be careless
I can be a lover, I can be a fighter

I can be whatever I want to be

I can do what I want, I can do what I don't
I can say hello, I can say goodbye
I can sleep, I can stay awake
I can make, I can break

The fact that I can, makes me the luckiest man. To do what I want this second, again and again.
Forever
I will never give up my feathers.
Help me fly my wings, as long as I believe.
You will never let me fall as long as I believe.
Kevin Eli Nov 2014
I want there to be nothing but smiles on your faces.
I want music playing, with laughter and dancing.
I want you all to know how much I loved you.
I want to fade away into that soft light, the quiet night.
I want to walk out the door without a farewell
Because there are no such thing as goodbyes.
Kevin Eli Apr 2010
I ask why about too many things
Not out of ignorance,
But because I truly dont know

I ask why.
Not as a philosopher,
But as a human being
Why must I do this?

I want to learn and i want to travel
Walk that dirt covered road, kick up the gravel
I'm hated because I don't understand,
But if I ask to find an answer,
I'm scolded and given a brand

I ask why we ask why.
Not as a psychologist,
But as a wanderer.
Whats a memory?

Have we forgotten how to ask questions?
Why?
- From ME
Kevin Eli Feb 2013
Because I want what I want.
My Id insists
I need more, never enough.
Forbidden fruit in your garden of tenacious love,
Give me my desire.
I want to burn my hands in fire.
I lust for what I can't have.
Me, Me, Me, I, I, I.
What will it take to inspire?
Give me something that I admire.
Let me sleep in my own funeral pyre.
I crave that. That which makes me die.
So Why cant I...?
Because it's a liar.
Kevin Eli Feb 2014
Will somebody destroy something?!
Will somebody change something?
Will somebody create something new...?

I hope.
Kevin Eli Nov 2014
From last to pulling first, underdog all the way
David is beating his Goliath, winning with his gains
Took a down to make an up, slim grin, courage and experience
Finally it's now payday

Found the energy drink of emotion
That liquid juice of intense life
Drives the will forward, giving confidence
He's moving up the ranks

Seen the errors of the past, this will is strong
The crowd is cheering, wings outdrawn, this takes no effort at all
Can do this for weeks, can't feel pain anymore
He's going for first, silver won't cut it

Whether it's a wish that's chased, A life trying to be made
The distance is relative, infinite space, in the face
Bull-rushed, heart of a child and beat of a bass drum
Nothing is stopping him now.

Started knowing not where to finish, relentless
You gotta give credit to those who go the limit
Insanity or determination,
Looks like he is finally winning his race

...I'm feeling lucky today
Kevin Eli Jan 2016
If it were a wish or a dream, I wouldn't feel the way I do inside.
Existence and living have me terrified.
I just want to run, I just want to hide
While I chase courage around my heart which flies.

I wish I could write a poem or letter that would inspire,
But all I have are words and begging phrases.
I'm sure at this point you're tired.

Dropping words my actions no longer defend,
I guess I will remain.

Locked in a cage of my own desire.
Kevin Eli May 2016
Warm summer blooms from the cold spring
When rain falls and snow melts
Flower petals show off their life and vibrance
Roses don't care for November
While the orchids dream of summer nights
Few violets will have memory of winter
Yet I will remember them all of my life
Kevin Eli Feb 2018
Dragging sheets over head during the dark of night
Slipping away, crawling into the mind's cave
Sequentially tumbling into the dark chasm
Million-mile, feathery fall through a grey abandon

Upon landing scenes start with a glowing sky
Swirled in blue, red, purple, yellow and black
Somehow familiar, I'm sad but never scared nor cry
A house sits empty, tall and alone
Upon a hill where an empty tree decays
Tended, yet desecrated and dry
Don't go inside... Don't go inside.... No, not alone
Deep wells awash with ghosts and faceless ghouls
Shells of scenes you never want to see
My nightmares and wanton dreams

The wind slides thick across the terrain with an audible scream
Down the hill is a black frothing stream
Surrounded by naked women and wild men,
****** and killing, each other over and over again
Familiar faces start to stare as I pass the heathen fire and fare
Glowing insects lounge like lanterns, witnessing their share
Sudden cold hand grabs me, trying to force me to participate
But closed eyes make no contact; I thrash with teeth bared,
Clinging with dried torn hands and lost hair
The black stream saves me by dragging me under
Until I slowly disappear

A cave with a pool reveals the next stanza
Wooden dry dock and blue water give a purple glow
A girl sits there with a boy, his shadow on the wall is a crow
Cawing, he has a voice that I understand and know
She, a snake body that sheds and rapidly grows
The couple melts and I suddenly slow down, down, down...
Deeper this continues to go

I wake up in a bed, but it's not my room
White lights above and dark faces ahead encircle me
Trying to inject me with my doom
I beg and scream
"This isn't my intent, this wasn't my desire!"
But it's all my fault the past was doomed
Thrown punches and scrambling for a door
I find the walls fall and the lights glimmer no more
The floor sympathizes and surrenders
Sees the pain and turns to a warm pool
Dazed, I float on to the morning's shore

Endless nights of fantasy and hedonist to the core
I'll be thrown from the night into fantasy once more
Don't envy me or the source of my quill's tone
I hide all the monsters under my pillow
I run like the rabbit during the day and run like the devil during the night.
Kevin Eli Nov 2014
I died, went to hell, escaped and survived.
She didn't make it out
I'm going back in to find her
I know she's alive

She's the world to me
And I can stop this
It's my choice, our lives

And I would do it a 1,000 times
Kevin Eli Oct 2014
Who is The Recipient?
Am I writing this poetry for me, or for the readers?
Did I explain what I saw painted in your picture?
Or may I paint the picture that your words have shown me?

Maybe I keep a record of my reality for some undetermined purpose to one day be revealed to maybe you or me.
Whatever the reasons, I present as both master and servant to undying shiny syllables contained within this temporary body of work.

Unwound between moments of mindless shuffle and sorting of the material, I lay down the lines with your hand on mine, my dear reader, to determine the adventure and where it goes.

Allude to a secret lover? Add a plot twist? Betraying the audience is to betray the critic? Whatever. Embrace where you want it to go.
In life, there is no structure or script.

Find our parallels within the infinite calculus and may God's Speed catch up to us, for to find everything, and everything that ever was, will be, will never be, and what is, not when, we will certainly go where we have never been.

To reach acceptance in the distance of the self from perfection.
To reach the fulcrum and find out what can or will become of this.

Such a beautiful mess.
Kevin Eli Jan 2013
Screaming with no words
So **** loud nobody could hear
What was said that you would hear? Only an echo from a mouth
To, and through your ear
Kevin Eli Oct 2014
Such good poets on here!
You guys are awesome.
Y'all make my life better.

:-)
Kevin Eli Sep 2014
Soft, intentional lines stroll across me
made with thin strokes.
They cut deep while writing
your name
with a casual smile.

I know I'm not supposed to,
but I kinda like it.
Kevin Eli May 2014
I wish you stabbed me.
It would've hurt less.
At least then I would know how you honestly felt about me.

— The End —