When the sky has molded over in pollution and our shoes get
stuck in the swamps
the Earth will still bless us with forgiveness
fully knowing we did this
We let the tides consume our dissatisfaction
but they still let us swim naked in them
Our rain forests losing family one by one
they have eyes you know
they see you, you know
we're killing our air supply
we use them disgracefully yet they still lay low
covering your head when the rain decides to give the soil a drop of purity
An unrequited love this world is
and the evil it implodes us with, is the anger
it has been waiting to emerge
Can you blame her...
giving us a piece of what years of us not caring tastes like
She, the woman in blue, emerald hair as long as the rivers may flow
tried to show the world magnificent sunsets and
mountain tops peeking out of the clouds and
the ocean as vast as the desert land
and the animals
we must let them be
the intelligence they withhold, the beauty they bellow
yet we do not give gratitude
we do not clean up our messes
we live in our pristine houses
drawing the curtains
She, this Earth, this Woman has brought us life and we have kicked it aside
We have forgotten to love
and it's bigger than you think.

A certain song the sea wind knows
it sends thru puckered lips,

like kisses blown, across the bows
of drowsing sailing ships;

and stirs their sleepy sails
from their slumber with it's tune,

unfurls their folded petals
and brings them back in bloom.

So high above me
I'm so low
I stopped time for him once
He doesn't even know

He lives in the mountains, now
His music, in the trees
Plucked softly by his fingers
Carried on the breeze

His hair, the sun
Eyes, the sky
He probly thinks I'm a freak
That, I can't deny

I long for him,
Like the sea longs for sand
I want to be his "tiny dancer"
Spin in his hand

And I, row, row, row, my boat
Gently down His stream
Crying, crying, crying, Because
This is but a dream

When I was a kid
And the family walls were falling
I remember thinking it would all be okay
If I could just learn to wall kick
Stick the landing, while the world was crumbling,
I look for applause for still standing
But the truth is they don't see you for standing strong
Just enjoy the scene when that strength is gone
Disgree, I'm asking you to prove me wrong.

Show me the story of your high school friend who made it
Not the hundred that stayed in the mould and faded
Show me the car crash that was evaded,
The hero, who's past wasn't completely exploited,
The victim that didn't end up on that stage desserted,
But no, that human nature is too perverted.
Forget the man saved, here's more on the murderer
News casters will give you the gritty details like sheep herders

Maybe your world isn't simple to fix,
Just keep working, this life has no tricks
At the end of the day, you know what makes you tick
But before the world came crashing
I learned to wall kick
So while the struggle is as real
As the wheel you steer,
keep screaming until the deaf even hear

You must look back upon our time together and smile. I know it's going to hurt, some days it's going to feel like your heart is ripping to shreds and tearing you apart from the inside out. I'm not saying that living without me is going to be easy, for I know it will not be. But whatever you do, do not let this loss deplete the warmth your smile holds or the joy your laughter spreads. Remember that in order to feel so much sadness, you once had to have experienced an equal amount of happiness. So, when the tears well up in your eyes and your throat hurts from the sobs you are choking back, I beg of you, remember me with a smile.

When everything
is fading away,
I will look up towards the stars
and let myself bask
in the silver moonlight of good memories.

I will remember their smiles,
the warmth radiating through their bodies
the words and actions
they dropped on me each day,
how I always waited and listened
for their calling of my name.

I will recall their good times,
when laughter tickled them
in devilish delight
when they put their differences aside
to be happy for the moment or so,
when they shook their heads at each other
but always ended up
holding hands, and walking together anyways.

I will memorize
the jagged pieces of their hearts,
stitched
mended
held back up together
for better or for worse,
how they tried to live
without cutting themselves
with the sharp edges.

Although I think only of the good
sometimes I burst into tears,
I sob and I shudder,
sometimes I can't forgive them
most of the time
I can't forgive myself,

but in the end, I need to smile
I need to laugh,
see that twinkle in my eyes
feel the warmth bubbling inside my chest
whenever I think of them,
I remember only the good times.

I'm sorry, but these words aren't going to spin a story from silver or light up stars in the sky
Sometimes, the poems just can't be beautiful

Beautiful is strange in that it has nothing to do with reality and everything to do with the pupils of your eyes
Like when I was little, I knew I was beautiful
Different beautiful than the other girls in my family-
Like a cherub with ringlet curls in the midst of hour-glass princesses-
But beautiful

I grew up a little and it had the opposite effect than you'd expect
Looking at my tall dancer friends somehow made me more stubbornly insistent that I was beautiful too
But differently, I noticed more now
More chest, more cheeks, all compacted into the rough shape of what a girl should be
So maybe more clasically pretty than a beauty

And then the depression, and then I lost weight
And for the first time, I could slide my hands up my sides and admit to myself that maybe they'd all been right
And that I'd been too fat and
Well, if anything good could come out of the depression it was that I was almost beautiful now,
Beautiful the way the world wanted me to be

And suddenly fear coiled around my throat, a viper paralyzing me with the idea that
I could easily fall back to before
A noose, for every time I tried to put food in my mouth

I started spending too much time by the mirror with my
shirt pulled up to my chest
So I could see the wedges of my ribs pushing through, like weeds cracking headstones at a cemetary
So I could run my hands over my collarbones and marvel at their solidity
Ignoring the cold cavern of my stomach and the shaking of my hands
Determining that 1200 calories a day was the recommendation to
lose weight at my short stature,
So I'd eat that, but somewhere in the back of my head it seemed simpler to round down to a thousand instead

You know what they say the difference between anorexia and dieting is?
They say that dieters have a goal in mind, a weight where they'll be happy whereas anorexics...
In my head, there was no goal, just less and less of me for the world to deal its deck of cards on
Because beautiful didn't matter any more and weightlessness was its replacement

I don't want to be like this
I wasted hours online, by the mirrors, shaking of cold and dizziness in my bed
I don't want to be like this
An alien structure of concavity and wasted bones the only end to this path
I refuse to be like this

I don't know if it works that way
But the laws of physics breakdown at some point anyway and so I will defy my own mind
I have watched this threat hurtle toward me, have seen it with through the pupils of my own eyes,
And it doesn't say very good things about my vision if I let myself be pushed to the side
A leaf ripped away by the wind

I will resist
I will feast on my fears
I will reclaim beautiful as my own, and project it, child-like, on every piece of my world

I refuse to be anorexic
And I will savor every taste of this life I can get
Before I die.