How selfish of me,
to crave a happy ever after,
when I have already tasted forever
in a fleeting moment with you.

It was enough
to carve your name into my bones,
to make the world without you
feel smaller, emptier, colourless.

And yet…
if once was all I was given,
if forever was just a heartbeat,
then I would choose it again.
And again.
And again.

Because even as a wound…
our love was still the sweetest eternity.

He says ,"Everyone deserves the least if they want the most !"

I twist the loose strands of the wicker rocker

"You work hard all you life for nothing ."

"You don't sleep , you blink and bleed while you think , what for !"

"There's no escape , no loose rage in the hot sauce of defeat !"

"No escape , no sleep , don't slip , don't quit . Just bleed and blink and think !"

Just one summer               like no other
                        that is what it was !
You and I across the field
                          playing like wild children
          in the playground of my heart !
Here and there, everywhere
                    we were
                            angels soaring o'er daises
     unplucked*                           breathing *
Rain or shine, we were always together
                       drenched in sunlight we were poetry  
                                          As we lay softly on the
                         summer grass
the heady scent of flowers clothed us,  
                                    even rain could not wash away
                    the inhale of our innocence,  
It was a summer               like no other
the summer      when                      we first met ,

"what was the Maltese Falcon?" the boy asks.

his father replies, "The stuff that dreams are made of."


the world is loud:
sirens,
headlines,
grief, love, fear,
heartbreak and flames.

life is a rat race
and the rats are winning

so throw confetti at the funeral.

we name our ghosts
and call them love.
we chase the falcon
of black painted lead,
light candles in an empty room
and call it faith.

where do we go from here?

walk against the parade
through costumes,
floats and marching bands?

the night runs through us all
while the world politely burns.

we call it sanity...this quiet compliance.

but clarity assumes rebellion.
take the straight line
through the storm.

throw confetti at our funeral.
(sadness wears confetti, well.)


every moment the soul screams
we tread closer to the razor's edge.

these people

I can’t see them anymore
I don’t want to see them anymore
I have no desire to see them anymore

I never think about
phoning them or
messaging them or
stopping by to say “hi.”

I don’t care about
what’s happening
in their lives or
who they’re dating
or what memories
we had together

yet they insist, they demand
that I visit them
that I sit down with them
that I talk about nothing important
with them

and I can’t say no

because I know how it feels:

during those times,
when I was down and out
and needed someone
to turn to, to talk to
but there was no one around
I felt the terror & the darkness
constricting my cold and lonely heart
as all the vitality and connection was draining
from my ventricles of ire
like blood from a stone

and so much of that
over a lengthy period of time
has made me a lot stronger,
more independent from people
and maybe even borderline aloof
from all human interaction

I no longer need them
I no longer want them around

but I can’t let anyone
feel that same way
that I felt

so long ago.

pitiful.