She always knew fairy tales were held in a big glass jar
but they were released by just a buttercup and a big daisy
She sat staring at a new big glass screen which was bizarre
and she was warned that she would become very lazy.

The fact of the matter was the elf has installed electricity
which seemed to travel down a cord with three prongs
The other confused fairies looked upon her with pity
and thought she should not go where magic belongs.

She one day wished she could be a big glass screen star
it seemed to her that folk were jacks of all trades
she knew her dreams would come true held in her jar
and that one day she would wear proper clothes of many shades.

She positioned herself in front of the screen with her cash
and as if by magic the screen lit up and music played
and people were talking in front of her like a surprised flash
she was in her element, she was speechless, she was amazed.

The tree that held the screen confirmed there was another world
The images seemed real, they were moving, they could speak
her brain was on fire,  she listened. learned, and she uncurled
settling into her leaf, she could sit here any day of the week.

She put out her clothes each night on her tiny chair
for her day to be spent in front of the magic glass screen
it was important to her what she chose to wear
she did not want to be scruffy for the electric machine.

She watched television from morning to night fall
she made friends with new fairies and blue butterflies
she had become an expert on everything, anything at all
she was a television star, she was the fairy with square eyes.

Breathe,

I have so many reasons to be alive.

Breathe,

But I get tired.

Breathe,

I don't think I scare myself anymore.

Breathe,
Just,
Breathe


quiet car rides,
On starry nights.
Warm seats,
Cool air,
Mildly,
Unwashed
Hair.

It's late,
And,
I'm tired.

But.
Im.
Still.
Alive.
And.
In.
My.
Own.
Time.
I,
Might even learn,
To enjoy it.

I glance back, through time and space.
Pause at myself to see a younger face.
My oh my the ways I've changed.
Lifes all different now. Rearranged.
I wake up, looking at my ceiling, not quite exactly like the one before.
I try hard to remember the feeling, when my apartment had no door.
The windows mostly busted out, space heater on the floor.
A junkies life no doubt. Mother was a **** *****.
I find myself wandering back to the bathroom that first time.
My step a father said the needle would help. So i thought, okay fine.
I was a kid, ****** up by circumstances.
all around me grew deadly cancers.
Moms friends, Dads friends, my friends now too.
I had nobody else, what would you do.
16 years old living life like I shouldn't.
If i had a second chance i don't know that i wouldn't.

i get the balance

you say one thing and do another
gain something and lose another
let one go and choose another
bruise one side and hurt the other

you laugh at one and laud another
trust in one and stab another
rip the arms off one another
sling opinions at each other

i heard it all from a to z
but i only got as far as x
because i didn't understand the y
or what for

I must sound
Like a chocolate wrapper
Crumbled up with cliche intentions
But oh, the sun is so healing on Saturdays
The weekend's bounty fueled by her light
My glacierlungs start to melt
I feel alright
On the train
To see my best friend
Soaking it all in
Finally unbroken
75 degrees in February
Never felt so incredible
I don't feel terrible
Anymore
I must sound so redundant
But you would play the same song 100
Times a day if it made you feel alive,
Wouldn't you?