The voices in my head are extremely loud. I feel so insane because I can hardly make a sound. Thoughts of being crazy, possibly headed to the asylum now. These voices won't shut up. I get stuck up. I go from 0 to 100, it gets ****** up. Not purposely. I may be bipolar but I could care less, you see. Its up to me to control my mind. But if you think it's that easy, you've been wasting time. Thinking you're perfect? Thinking psychology ain't worth it? I lucked out, timed out, and found out...
We all need help!

Tired eyes.
Tired of the cries.
Tired of the lies.
Sick of the deciet.
Sick of the defeat.
Taking no for an answer, but I've still been beat.
Less beats to my heart, a slow and rapid start.
The faster it goes as the pain begins to show.
Can't cover it up no more, everything is out.
Wired mouth, cant speak the truth.
Trapped in a box. But I'm slowly gettin loose.
Bull dog, I broke out.

With you it felt like nothing else mattered. Glass shattered to the ground because I'm grounded. Your fist pounded my face in and after that I knew I was caved in. A new born slave, beaten into my own grave. I never knew you would hit me like this. You say you love me but really you're hurting me, physically and mentally. Mentally Im trapped and I can't fight back. He says I better not tell a soul or I will be seeing my death slow. It seems like there is no way out. Its hard to tell my mother Im in trouble. Physically I am torn. My makeup, to cover the scars and bruises. My heart bruises because Im extremely wounded. Doesnt anyone see that I am hurting? Help me! I drop down on my knees as I pray to my father. I rise and he caught me by surprise. He hit me so hard, he slashes my eye. Blood is leaking everywhere, I'm a new born slave. Wondering why he beats me now, he made a dramatic change. The next day I woke up. Cooking him his breakfast, waiting for him to show up. I feel so ugly inside and out. I let this man abuse me but this can no longer happen. Into the kitchen he comes, while I have my surprise. A frying pan, headed straight for his thighs. I hit him so hard he drops to the floor, I had to knock him out so I hit him once more. Onto his back and then to his head. I thought he was dead and I called 911 instead. I told them I was a victim of abuse. They came in a hurry and they noticed my eye. They sent me to the hospital because I was traumatized. I didnt think I would ever get out. It took me 5 years but Im finally free. According to Gods will, he set me free. And my husband, he's in jail. They sent him with tht big *** knot I put on his face. I am getting a divorce and now I am no longer a new born slave.

Pain in my eyes, a smile in my disguise. Looking up in the sky, while the stars begin to fall. Broken dreams left with just a memory. One that I had with you. You tore me into pieces, now I'm designed with so much hate. High expectations for the next one who tries to come through my gate. To make me, their ride or die. But its like the more that I ride, I fall off. I lose control because I no longer am myself. I put up with your ******* cause I know nothing else. But you. Trying to keep you happy, while forgetting about my feelings. This journey is a life long lesson. Broken dreams with a broken heart because I couldn't be there with you 24/7. Long distance kills but I was willing to make sacrifices. I guess we weren't on the same page. You gave up so fast seems like you never loved me in the first place.
Yea I know, sometimes you gotta let go to be free. But if you ask me, we made a great team. I wish I could go back in time. Now Im left here trying to figure out why the stars are landing on my face. No more fairy tales, just a broken dream.

I love it when you need someone I'm always there to listen. But when its my turn, nobody dares to listen. Its like I was never around in the first place. My thoughts bottled in my head like a baby eating it's first cake. Where do I go from here? My hands waving in the air but it seems as if Im wrapped with this invisible tape. That **** doesn't exist. The twist in my brain snaps then boom I go insane. Writing makes me sane. But then again I love it when people call my name. Who can I call when I can't stand tall? Self Concerned is what you are. Now I really see why you are where you are. Don't give a **** about anyone but ya self. All you had to do was listen like I listen to you. I kno we all human but look at what you do.You took away all the hope I had left in you. And still, I'm left with no one to listen.

Taking in each breath is hard to grasp. My feelings are torn, I'm empty on gas. I feel like I've cried my last tear. **** what a way to start off my year. I know it seems as if I've lied to you again or that I'm playing pretend. But the way that I'm feeling is confusing again. Am I living a lie? Will I die a question? Into the pits of hell, where It seems that I'm destined? I know I'm a child of God but I've sinned to much. Over and over, with the same stuff. I need to get away, I need to run fast. But I'm empty on gas. Yeaa I know, running isn't the solution. The world is filled with the same things, the world is freaking pollution. It doesn't matter where you are. But that's why I started over. I was on the right track but I guess I fell back. These demands are taking over, like these wars will never be over. Lord please, save me from this disease. I beg you. With you I'm at ease but once I'm alone again I shut down with no means. I feel like cant live no more. No suicidal thoughts. Feel my heart beat, hear my thoughts, I'm learning as I live and that's real. If you understand this then you might understand how I feel.