Kai - Hello Poetry

Kai Mar 2021

vices binding my soul; ever complying
perfect obedience; never denying
i'm silent no matter how terrifying
i'm on the verge of tears but never crying
my lungs only produce a quiet sighing
i'm screaming final breaths but never dying
and all the while my pain's intensifying
my wings fledged and outstretched but never flying
i try to speak but there's no point replying
i'm done with all your endless justifying

you could've changed, but you're just never trying

the 11 syllables thing is part of the poem. you get lured into thinking it will flow nicely like an iambic pentameter, but then you reach the end of the line and you feel like you have to interrupt yourself to maintain the rhythm. that's because you do. that's how it's meant to be read. the interruption is part of the poem.

you can read this in multiple ways. either one person struggling against another, or two people arguing.

#argument #arguing #listening

Kai Oct 2020

So you want to save everyone, like some kind of superhero.

kind of? it just fills me with so much-- so much desperation when I think about how many people want to die.

and i spent, like, almost three hours or something yesterday trying to talk people out of it online. because i was thinking about it. but most of them didn't change their minds, or anything.

did i fail them? i could have been their last chance. i could have been so many people's last chance. i could have saved them if i'd known the right words to say.

Woah, hey, hey, I gotta stop you there. You can't blame yourself for it if... if they don't change their minds.You're not the reason they want to die, so it's... it's not your fault if they do. And you're not making them any more likely that they will, either.

no, no, i'm not. i know it's not my fault. but... i just care so much! i can't believe they want to die. i wish i could tell them that i'm here for them and i want to give them all the things they wanted and couldn't get because life couldn't give it to them. i wish i could show them how beautiful it all can be.

But you can't.
You can't even help yourself. Put on your own oxygen mask first, you know?

you and i both know that anything going on with me isn't nearly that serious

It should be.

what's that supposed to mean? are you trying to say that i should be worse? i should want... want to die?

No, no! Jeez. I mean you should take it seriously- as seriously as you've been taking random strangers' problems on the internet. If you don't take care of yourself, then maybe one day the tables'll turn and there'll be someone trying to talk you out of it. You matter too, you know. You're just human.

i

...Are you okay?

y
yeah. sorry. i'm just not used to this

Used to what?

you being nice?

Be kind to yourself. Not everything in the world is your fault. Not every evil is because of your personal failure.

Not sure what to tag.

#dialogue

Kai Oct 2020

last love letter

I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but I always lacked the courage.
I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to tell you in person. I was scared of what you might think.
I regret not telling you sooner.
I couldn't live like this anymore.
I can't live without you.
This has been coming for a long time now.
I know how I feel. It's okay if you can't accept it.
I love you. Forever.

some things which might be in a suicide note or a love letter
they're not that far apart, really.

#suicide #love #letter

Kai Aug 2019

Fire Arms

it lies entombed in fabric and stale air
the fire arms swaddled in cotton shields
scalding, the guilt, huddled and shining fair
the narrow, long weapon it finds it wields

disgust, at itself
set back on the shelf
dives back in the sea
of cloth Calliope

though arduous, the work to quench the flames’
thirst would fruit with cool, gentle blossomed rose
they wilt into an ugly, blackened shame
with scarlet spark still glowing ‘neath their throes

it found a better way-
let cooling comfort stay
fire cannot fight flame
and burn cannot beat blame

in which fire symbolizes so many things it is actually ridiculous. also, it’s very edgy.

seriously though if someone wants to do a symbolic analysis go for it. i shoved so much random stuff into this

#fire #symbolism #edgy #selfharm #depression #mymentalhealthissuchajoke

Kai Mar 2019

Symbiosis

Two roses intertwine, becoming one;
their fragile petals thirsting for the sun.
They lift each other’s leaves up to the light;
and so, together, blossom through the night.

This poem's meaning is really up to you. You can even take it literally if you'd like.
I tried to express the feeling of two entities, both broken or fragile or vulnerable for some reason, helping each other through some period of time. The circumstance and nature of the relationship between the entities can change; the poem still applies.
I named it 'Symbiosis', because that is the most summarized form of what this poem was intended to describe. [In biology, a symbiotic relationship is when two organisms assist one another, such as a fish eating the parasites and such off another fish. One fish gets food and the other food gets cleaned.]

I tried to add some visual poetry, too, with each line looking a little longer than the previous line in a sort of stair-step pattern - as if you could climb up and be triumphant.

oh, and yeah this is iambic pentameter... heh

#flower #rose #friendship #love #visual

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