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475 · Jul 2013
Never Forever
J M Surgent Jul 2013
“nevr again,” she said,
And she couldn’t even
Ever ******* ever spell
“Never.”
So I never dropped a tear on that one.
Never.
Ever.
And we never spoke again,
And life was technically never the same;
-With all romantic abnormalities
And social angst aside-
It improved, as friends came home
And new love peaked on the horizon,
And the beauty of a bachelor’s bank account
Shone through the dull glow of the ATM like Monet.
And I basked in the light of day,
Alone and free, just the wind in me
Ready to dance to the beat of
A one man drum machine;
But will you never hear it?
474 · Feb 2012
Dad
J M Surgent Feb 2012
Dad
My dad is a smart man,
Not smart how I am,
Because he doesn’t like to write
And can’t always see my theories
But he can fix anything
And I mean anything
From a broken heart
To a leaky pipe
And he’s always willing to help.
One time I watched him fix a funeral,
With just a page of words
I was wrong, he can write.
He helped us remember
And understand why we loved her.
He fixed that day, because he cared
He kept it from falling apart
For no other reason than he knew he should.
He didn’t get any money,
And she didn’t hear his thoughts.
No one even respected him that day,
Except me, but I stayed quiet.
Why did I stay quiet?
I knew I should have spoken up,
And told him I respected his words.
But I didn’t, and I regret it.
I probably always will.
I like to think deep down he already knows,
That it goes without saying
By the way I watched him speaking,
That he knows what I wanted to say
But never had to courage to.
I know he would have.
469 · Nov 2013
Smiles
J M Surgent Nov 2013
How can such a waste of time
Have such a pretty smile
And know just the right things to say
To make my own come out for a while?
463 · Dec 2013
Three Times
J M Surgent Dec 2013
I often think back to the day, I brought you that place
With graffiti on the walls all failing to decay
And how in the summer’s ending heat I held your hand
And underneath arches I pulled you close and then

I, I kissed you right
Not like the time from the preceding night

But then came a new day, one further from our past
And you started to think about us, seeing this could last
I understand you were afraid, but fear is not to blame
When you held my heart so tightly then stomped it again and again

Three times, and never from a fight
Three times, sweetheart that’s not right
461 · Jan 2014
Months Ago, Ages Ago
J M Surgent Jan 2014
I remember
Times before snow
Mere months ago
Walking through
Fields of corn
Pumpkin spiced life
All night
The smell of leaves
Decaying sweet
The sound of your voice
Singing me to sleep
Ages ago.
459 · Jan 2014
Regret
J M Surgent Jan 2014
I want you to regret
Ever having left me;
So I go to the gym, 
I read,
I become something
More than me,
So you’ll regret.
But not too much,
For if you asked me back
I’m afraid I’d agree
445 · Aug 2013
World on a String
J M Surgent Aug 2013
I’m lost
On your world on a string
When I can’t figure out the
Continent your finger’s pointing to
We laugh, sit back
Soaking in the light of springtime
And you tell me you love me,
And will take me here,
And there,
And there,
And I believe you.
Your quiet lips sprouting such
Eloquent promises of adventures,
With camera in hand
I believe you
And fall for you
In perjury.
442 · Mar 2014
Wilting Petals
J M Surgent Mar 2014
Side-walking, in the heat
On a path near the street
In a state so unlike my own
Three youths in march
Sun kissed by summer shenanigans
We walked, hopped, skipped and jumped
The tar hot enough to fry an egg on
Ourselves not far from
Our eyes on everything but the future
That I saw it
A perfectly cut rose, placed
Between the cracks of the sidewalk
Standing tall
And as I stared down at
Wilting petals dead for water
I thought about the complexities
Of summer time life
And the everlasting patterns of
Love that a rose held
In petals it grew
Only to die in the heat of dead summer
Only to die on the side of a road
Placed in memorial
Which they passed without a wink
Or the slightest of grazes
Of burning empathy
For life ahead
The linear path they could see
Of the sidewalk beyond
Running along an endless street,
That I realized I could never
Ever explain her to them.
437 · Feb 2014
Pronounce My Name
J M Surgent Feb 2014
I don’t care what you said before,
You’ve got nothing to be sorry for
But I still hate you anyway,
I’d rather rip your tongue out
Than hear it pronounce my name
437 · Aug 2012
Words Through Song
J M Surgent Aug 2012
When I hear your words through song
I hope I someday can sing

In harmony with your love

But for now I long for silence.

All the pretty girls with their pretty boys too
Holding hands along the beaches of the lake,
Singing together nearly inaudibly,

Of songs about hearts that beat in time.

And it’s while I watch them silently,
From a distance I know quite comfortably
Seeing how they move near effortlessly

That I know it’s time for me to leave.

So home is where I’ll go,
But the only home I know
This home somewhere on the road,

The home I don’t own where I belong.
437 · Feb 2012
Memoirs for a Friend
J M Surgent Feb 2012
My friend asked me to write her memoirs,
To pen her life
That she has yet to live.
I laughed, knowing this
Knowing she was planning too far ahead
What makes her think she’ll want to remember
Every little thing she’s ever done?
I hope she can live that life,
Without regret, so full of love
With such stories to share and tell
That she would want them written down
I hope she can live that life,
Because I’ve heard of too many people who have died
Regretting all they’ve done.
434 · Jul 2013
Kidding
J M Surgent Jul 2013
I’m kidding myself,

When I say I love you;
I miss you,
Because truth be told
I’m ten times the man
I could have ever been,
Without you
Short and sweet.
433 · May 2015
These days
J M Surgent May 2015
It’s these days
When things start changing
You begin to realize
How much you loved them
The same.
432 · Dec 2014
You.
J M Surgent Dec 2014
Loving you broke my heart,

But I can't love any other way.
430 · Nov 2013
Catching Lies
J M Surgent Nov 2013
I just want you to know
I see you from the inside
And all the ******* and lies
You try your best to deny.

You might be fooling someone,
But not me, not this time.
You might be fooling the next guy,
But you’ll never again catch my eye.
429 · May 2012
Angel
J M Surgent May 2012
I think I met an angel
Once she fell from the sky
She took my heart in hand
Promising she knew right.

In her eyes I saw the past
And love, and wisdom and lies
And in her hands
Some kind of warmth
The kind you feel when crying.

She showed me the light
Some place far off, inside
My mind, where she took her place
Placed her chords
And played a melody
Which stole my soul in time.
427 · Jan 2012
Where We Belong
J M Surgent Jan 2012
So told as the story goes,
You’ll go back to how you were,
I’ll get back to who I was,
And maybe we’ll find some peace in knowing
We’re both where we belong.
427 · Jul 2013
Where the Lights are Grand
J M Surgent Jul 2013
I want to live where the lights are grand,
And it’s still magic, even the slight of hand
Where love takes no effort,
And I’m good enough for you and you
Are good enough for me.
And if we fall apart
You’ll remember me,
For the idea you loved
And not the man I was
When loved turned sour the golden hour
Ran into screams and yells and liquor
And problems we’ll never address
The next day sober
In bed,
Pretending last night was
Too distant to remember
418 · Apr 2013
to two too many degrees.
J M Surgent Apr 2013
I can’t keep
Track of how much I have
To do, before I leave with
Too many degrees,
Two count, because
I’m bad at math, plus
Or minus a few figure’s but thats
Okay when I can write
My own obituary at the end of my life and leave
You all my hopes I never
Once accomplished while alive but
Dead they’re somehow more
Surreal than when
Then they were just
Dreams I had,
Under the sycamore tree 
Out front on the cool
Summer days when we held hands and talked
Silently for hours about all of
Nothing we had never done and never
Would accomplish, subtracted
By all our hopes and dreams we
Wrote down under our sleeves
And I’ll store those
In a shoe box labeled
“Memories and things, etc” for you to find
Yourself in the words and drawings I’ll have left
Right for you under
The ceiling
We shared
Alone
Together.
This is not a sad poem, though it may sound that way, haha.
415 · Dec 2011
Half Lies
J M Surgent Dec 2011
This love was built on half lies,
And the truth, so deeply hidden inside.
I can’t even trust the love you felt,
Or pretended to feel to the touch of heart.
Every smile you sent was a mask,
Pretending to be the lover you were not,
Pretending to be a little more than you were,
And looking for anything but to be lost.
But you can’t lie to me,
Anymore than you lie to yourself,
And your stories don’t match
The stories of the history of your past.
So please, take my leave as a sign,
That not only did the truth I find,
But a new way, new style of life,
Devoid of you, your history, your lies.
414 · Oct 2013
Andrew Bird
J M Surgent Oct 2013
I will always think of you
When I listen to Andrew Bird,
And will always miss you
When I choose the next song.
406 · Nov 2013
Not a Poet
J M Surgent Nov 2013
I'm not a poet,
Barely even a writer,
Just someone who reads too much
And tries to figure out
How words and rhymes
Work together like puzzle pieces
In the syntax of life.
404 · Jan 2012
Nothing
J M Surgent Jan 2012
With you and me it was always all or nothing
And its taken these events to see
That only nothing is all we can bear to be
404 · Jan 2014
The Dating Game
J M Surgent Jan 2014
I want to ask a girl out:
And one guy says
“Just be true to yourself,”
Another,
“Just be like everyone else,”
and another,
“Just keep working out;”

And I think
I’m just going to ask her.
403 · Jul 2013
Angel in Composition
J M Surgent Jul 2013
You see things,
Like no one else before you
And I’m afraid I’m
Falling in love with it.
With the way the
Light hits your cheeks,
In memories
Held tight forever
In film grain
And photo paper.

And you are
The angel
In composition,
Artistic reposition,
That reminds me why
I fell in love with it to begin with.
398 · May 2014
Them
J M Surgent May 2014
My demons lie
In minds I cannot control-

I love you,
I love myself,
I love them-

But two-to-one
I do not own.
398 · Jan 2013
Fall is for Falling in Love
J M Surgent Jan 2013
Fall is for falling in love,
I say this, because I met you under
The skeletons of October trees,
Stepping on crunching leaves,
So yellowed and gold.

With our matching eyes brown,
We walked through downtown and
I bought us coffee the we drank,
While we people watched from
That little cafe’s front porch window.

Hands intertwined, I felt alive
Or some bit farther away from death because
My heart was beating faster than it had
In days and weeks past and all
I wanted to do was kiss you.

And when I finally did, in the dark
Of my room, behind the courage of
The wine I brought us, I was so
Scared that you wouldn’t resist,
And that it would be a real kiss.

So when my fears became true you
Fell asleep on my chest, your soft hair
On my chin and I knew at that moment I
Was lost in you, intertwined like
Our bodies at the time.
I wrote a poem with nearly the exact same beginning. Then when I read it over again, the beginning changed for me, and from that extra line stemmed this piece. I think I like it better.
395 · Nov 2011
The Tree
J M Surgent Nov 2011
I watched this grow
From the beginning
From a seed upon the earth
And I saw it grow
Into something I never
Thought could work
And as it grew
It began to unfold
Turn into something beautiful
Something I never could have known
But as it grew
It grew too tall
And with a tree so high
Gravity took its fall
And I watched it grow
Until it finally broke down
Now I watch it sink
Slowly back into the ground
This reflects the journey of a love I once had.
395 · Apr 2013
Heads Far from Heart
J M Surgent Apr 2013
There was a time,
In life, lit
In the yuletide glow,
In the winter’s cold,
Our love held weight,
Like the snow on our shoulders
As we walked home on crooked legs,
As went to bed having never thought
We’d end up like this.
Sleeping apart,
Heads far from heart,
Listening to the rhythm of it beat as
We try to fall asleep, alone for the first time
In a long time.
In such a long time.
395 · Oct 2013
Congratulatory
J M Surgent Oct 2013
Seriously though,
I see no point
In writing sad poems
About a girl who will
Never even read them
Never even care again
That I put my heart on the line
While she looked at other men
So instead, I’ll write something happy
Something about me.
Today I drank a bottle of wine,
Kept a smile,
And pet a dog.
I feel congratulatory.
J M Surgent Mar 2014
The young man sat in the bed in the corner on the floor, one hand holding a book bought from the racks at the grocery store, the other resting on the head of the young woman sleeping next to him. As his eyes scanned the pages, his hand stroked her hair, and occasionally she would awake from her slumber, smile, and mumble a few incomprehensible words of midnight wisdom. As he read the book, he barely noticed, too entranced in the plot lines unfolding before him in a world he paid a whole $2.99 to enter.

As the dead of night became darker outside, and the cold chill of 3 a.m. danced in through the open window, the young man put down his book, instead turning his gaze to the young woman next to him. His eyes followed the curves of her body, starting at her violin lips, slowly moving down and admiring the sensual outcropping of her naked hips beneath his blanket. As she lay deep in sleep, he put his hand onto her face, feeling the warmth of her skin and the arch of a subconscious smile. He moved his hand back up to her hair, stroking the straightened dyed black strands and feeling their softness between his fingers. As he looked at her, he wondered what she could be dreaming about, and wished so badly he was with her in that landscape.

“You are mine, and I am yours,” he told to her earlier that night in a lover’s embrace. She just stared at him with welcoming green eyes that smiled. At this moment, he missed those green eyes, and leaned in to kiss her gently on the cheek.

“You are mine, and I am yours,” he repeated, though this time barely a whisper. Still, her small lips formed a porcelain smile and his heart raced at the idea that she was now dreaming of him, and only him.
Maybe not quite a poem, but I wanted to share nonetheless.
387 · Aug 2013
Flaunting
J M Surgent Aug 2013
I originally kept you
As a friend online
To showcase my new life
And remind you just how well
I’ve been doing without you.
But the truth shone through,
That I’m doing better
While you’re still stagnant,
And now I feel a little bad
About showing it all off.
But I still show it all off.
387 · Jan 2014
Dance in the Wind
J M Surgent Jan 2014
When the wind blows,
I blow by it,
In my car,
And I lack the time
And patience
To stop and realize
How the trees dance in the wind,
Better than I can.
381 · Feb 2014
Sweet Songs
J M Surgent Feb 2014
She sang,
Sweet songs
Under he breath
So afraid we'd hear,
Because beautiful melodies
Don't translate to reality
Simply.
380 · Aug 2013
Dreams
J M Surgent Aug 2013
Some of us are meant to dream and do,
While some of us are meant
To dream and wish we could
377 · Dec 2013
Wind Swept
J M Surgent Dec 2013
Wind swept
           Me away

While you were dancing
           With the leaves.
376 · Oct 2013
Fool's Gold
J M Surgent Oct 2013
Looking at your picture,
Is addicting,
Narcotically,
Like staring into the bright
Reflections of true gold,
A pirate’s treasure,
But you’re not a find,
Not under the X-mark,
But more of a
“Try again, hit restart;”
You know,
Fool’s gold.
369 · Jan 2013
Fall
J M Surgent Jan 2013
Fall is for falling in love,
I say this, because I met you under the trees,
Stepping on crunching leaves,
So yellowed and gold.

Like a dream, I remember the first time,
Your hand in mine,
Walking in the crisp night air,
We had no idea where we'd lead.

With the winter breeze,
You alluded to leave, but instead
You took refuge by the fire
Of my heart, inside my bed we slept.

While we wait for spring thaw,
I’ll love you, like I did that first night,
Enjoying the cold’s necessity
For the confines of these blankets.

Every time we wake up, I’ll look into your eyes
And you’ll know you were right to stay.
For the one I love.
364 · Oct 2013
Not Love, Not Hate; Gone.
J M Surgent Oct 2013
I want to tell you I hate you but I can’t, because hate is pretty close to the opposite of how I feel.

Don’t take that the wrong way, I don’t love you, as I don’t love much, and am close to truth when I say my one feeling is “general apathy,”

But you were pretty cool.

And I could get used to you. And how your hair falls weightless to your shoulders, or how you mispronounce words with your not-New-England-Accent, or how your smile lights up my entire life.

I could get used to it. And I was.

Until you left. And now I need to get used to it being gone.
363 · Nov 2013
Typewriter
J M Surgent Nov 2013
There was only one girl
In the world who understood
All I wanted for my 22nd birthday

Was a typewriter,
To help me understand the world
Of the written word.
And still, with months away
I want that gift
If only to type her name,
“Juliette, Juliette
Why did you never return?”
This one means a lot.
360 · Feb 2014
Alone
J M Surgent Feb 2014
He agrees,
There must be something inside
Bleeding eternally;
So he drinks wine at night,
Writes poems at home.
He drinks till sunlight
Afraid that he’ll wake up more alone
Than when he shuts his eyes.
358 · Dec 2011
Untitled
J M Surgent Dec 2011
When this love dies,
Will you tell me,
Or will you drag out my heart,
Tearing me apart, piece by piece.
When this love dies,
Will you tell me,
Or hide away in two’s security
Quietly wishing not to be.
354 · May 2012
Angel
J M Surgent May 2012
I think I met an angel
Once she fell from the sky
She took my heart in hand
Promising she knew right.

In her eyes I saw the past
And love, and wisdom and lies
And in her hands
Some kind of warmth
The kind you feel when crying.

She showed me the light
Some place far off, inside
My mind, where she took her place
Placed her chords
And played a melody
Which stole my soul in time.
349 · Aug 2013
Burn It Up
J M Surgent Aug 2013
Let’s make it a point
To never talk about you again;
Lock away the memories,
And burn away the keys.
Even happy memories
Can lose themselves in peace.
So let’s burn it to the sky,
Every happy lullaby
I sang to you under the
Midnight sky while you’d lament
About lost live in another country,
And I’d hold you, tears in hand
Promising to never leave your side,
Like you did mine.
347 · Aug 2013
To See The World
J M Surgent Aug 2013
I think I can honestly say
I loathe you,
-If you even know what that means-
For keeping me here,
Trapping me there,
With promises of foreign affairs
When I could have lived
In such lavish housings
And seen the world
With mine own eyes
Ten times brighter
Than this screen on my computer
Ever could display.
With the photographs my own,
Memories in mind,
I could have lived a life
So far beyond your lies.
346 · Apr 2014
Untitled (2)
J M Surgent Apr 2014
I loved someone,
Once before.

And that's why I'm so terrified to try again.
340 · Nov 2013
Mind Wanderings
J M Surgent Nov 2013
Take a break
And let your mind wander
With someone new.
You never know what you'll find.
It might be good.

Trust me.
J M Surgent Nov 2013
Fall is for falling in love
Or so I thought
When I felt your heart beat next to mine,
Our legs tangled, bodies intertwined
And you told me that you loved how the leaves
Turned golden yellow from their vibrant summer greens,
And I told you, under harvest moonlight
"That's just because they're dying."
330 · Aug 2013
Worth Loving
J M Surgent Aug 2013
I’d love to find someone worth loving,
But need to find myself worth loving first,
Because I feel I have a long way to go.
It's not always about length, but how much you say in so many words.
330 · Oct 2012
When You Return to Him
J M Surgent Oct 2012
This will fade away, 
in time, 
guaranteed.
And I’ll be waiting,
watching,
letting the happiness 
**** me slowly.
In a moment it will be true,
written in red ink,
scratched in vinyl
recorded in tune.
We’re worlds apart
but right next door,
Across a road we’ll call Atlantic
And a sidewalk that lines the ocean floor
So far gone,
so far from “start.”
Far to far
to time our beating in hearts.
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