you wrote a message in my yearbook
that haunted me
you'd see me in three months
if you didn't die.
so three long months
i waited for you to call
and heard nothing.
my heart started to feel heavy
but i knew you were stronger than that.
and today i saw you
in brief passing
hallways are a battleground
but i pushed through
and walked away from you.
"distance. distance"
were the words i chanted to myself
because i didn't want to fall to pieces
at your feet.
after all...
it's still a secret
that i'm in love with you.

|m.s.

Deep in a garden I lay,
As when before— a world I had made,

I was born on wooded shores,
When sounds of the forest stood calling

And all that day of my youth—
I combed with branches pointing anew,

Grasses, green took to flame
And timber— tall, called out my name,

As a winged seed I spun afar,
Which led me to dreams new under stars,

Wildflowers I left unpicked—
Have painted true my world ever since,

All my time spent— sun raining,
O what kingdoms a child can make.

I've come to accept that all of my worries about tomorrow and how I'll be remembered yesterday
has manifested itself into something far greater than stress.
And I know living with this
            state-of-mind
can only make every situation worse instead of ever getting better.
But right now,
       in this moment,
                     I am okay.

And that is good
enough for me.

I still find myself
feeling your skin
in the spaces between
bed-sheet creases

and if
missing you is like
swerving into
oncoming traffic,
then tonight
I’m sleeping
in the road.

I'd give up my left arm to always be right beside her. My right arm for her to know she's what I have left and both arms to be able to hug her when's she away. I just don't think I have enough to give to get the courage to tell her when she's here.