julianna

julianna May 2018

It sounds like a flower,
It's fresh to the ears.
Echolalia is a word that I hear.
A little girl found it,
I heard it today.
She might have autism,
But that's rude to say.
Should I just speak up or ignore the signs?
Noting signs in a child that is not mine
Is like picking a flower,
It withers and dies.

I meet children who may potentially have autism, but it's such a sensitive topic that I refrain from making comments to the parents. I feel a sense of responsibility towards the well being of the child, but should I? (Note: I mean the actual word echolalia sounds "fresh to the ears".)

#echolalia #autism

julianna May 2018

Back To Happy

I'm back to reading books about girls in love
I'm back to being entranced by words on pages for hours at a time
I'm back to eating what I want with no remorse
I'm back to having normal relationships with people my age
I'm back to being able to grow out my nails without impulsively biting them off in seconds
I'm back to buying clothes that fits me right now and not after I lose a few pounds
I'm back to being able to walk around a mall without feeling every single person in my brain
I'm back to coexisting without inhibitions about being myself
I'm back to me...
I'm back to happy.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like myself. I get emotional thinking about it because I'm still young, yet I feel as if mental illness has robbed me of so, so much. Today, I felt "back to happy".

#happy #mentalillness

julianna May 2018

Emptiness Inside

I've found the emptiness
It was buried inside
It's the weight that bounds my body
And the dark parts of my mind
I always seem to lose it,
But then I find a frown,
I guess all of my smiles end up being
upside-down...

I feel heavy, pointless, futile... it's back again.

#sad #empty #lonely

julianna May 2018

Shelter Them

There are millions of dogs and cats in shelters
Why can't we shelter them from this?

I was thinking about all the helpless creatures that are kept in shelters until they are adopted or killed. Please, adopt a pet when you can... don't buy! Also, fostering and volunteering can help the cause. I'm not against shelters, just saddened by the number of innocent animals being murdered each day.

#adopt #savealife

julianna May 2018

nothing

There is nothing.
And the beats that I wanted to hear
go on too long.

I'm tired of being unsatisfied with things that I once wanted.

#tired #lonely #nothing #bored #unsatisfied

julianna May 2018

Disconnected

I’m disconnected.

There’s a spark in my eye and it’s twitching into flames.

I’m tired of this life and of these games.

I’m hoping for a reason,

Hope they give me one to stay.

I thought the pounding was finally gone,

But it is is ringing in my head

And beating in my lungs.

I’m disconnected.

I feel dead.

Existential crisis

#dead #disconnected #sad #lonely #anxiety