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 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
Heidi Mason
2:43 AM
I crave your touch against my fingertips
I am having withdraws because of how nice your love was.
The daily clichè was an addiction
I looked forward to it like an addict looks forward to their "high"
I was high from your love daily
and now im using drugs to replace it.
you are the reason I'm up at such an odd hour
and I hate you for it. -H.M.M.
I don't actually fo drugs
 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
James Joyce
Be not sad because all men
Prefer a lying clamour before you:
Sweetheart, be at peace again -- -
Can they dishonour you?

They are sadder than all tears;
Their lives ascend as a continual sigh.
Proudly answer to their tears:
As they deny, deny.
 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
Heidi Mason
I can't write a poem
 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
Heidi Mason
my mind is blank
like a canvas brand new

writers block at its finest
who the hell knows what I can say

my mind is a blank slate
that is able to make beautiful work

I'm a firework that hasn't been lit
and there's no one around to light it.

I'm stuck.
 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
Heidi Mason
I use to crave your presence in my life

10 years later,
I crave the pain to go away that you've caused.
 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
Heidi Mason
what the ****
I never thought I'd be losing you
but I didn't  actually lose you

you walked away from my life
like it was so easy for you

I think I didn't mean anything to you
I was the spam in your email
and im worthless to you
I'm sorry
but I still am missing you
 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
Heidi Mason
I use
to have a solution to
any feeling I had

your love

and everything's gone

and I sit here
thinking about my addictions

and oh how easy
it could be for me
to slip back
into old me

she's been gone
for almost a year

she's in my mind
yelling at me
"dear god get me the hell out of here"
begging me
to let her be free
 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
Heidi Mason
su•i•cide- the act of one killing themselves intentionally.

a way to tell God that you can't live on the world he created

a solution that last forever when the problem lasted the weekend

the way to show everyone you're ******* done with every lie that comes out of their mouth.

even after knowing all these ******* pointless facts about it

I could easily
take the blade to my neck
and drown myself in my own blood

I'm so ******* sick
mentally and physically

I can't figure out
why I want to die
but I know it always sounds right

I don't know
how people would react if I die
but I sure do know
they'd be just fine

I'm just a lonely
waste of space
on this earth
no im not gonna **** myself
 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
Heidi Mason
I treat myself
like a lunatic

but really
I'm just a girl
with too
much space
that is very lonely

I'm just a girl
with too much
thinking time
that kills off
my mind.

I'm just a girl
who listens
to those ****
sad songs
to make herself
feel sane
when really
she's anything but sane

and I really do
hate the me I am
 Jan 2015 Josh Allen
Heidi Mason
and the only thing
that is keeping me alive
is the dumb thoughts
that I can ramble together
to create a
"beautiful piece of writing"
when there is nothing
beautiful about
wanting to **** yourself
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