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John Reilly Apr 2017
Frozen
That's the best I can do
To describe it
This feeling
Mid sentence
Mid thought
I'll come to a standstill
The words I'm certain
I was about to say
Now MIA
Their abscence
Acutely felt
Tiny waves of panic
Ripple thru my brain
Where have they gone
And what will I do
Without them
Or this
Or that
A feeling of being
Tantalizing close
To some sort of epiphany
Only to find myself suddenly
Somehow transported
Extraordinary rendition
To this fugue state
How did I get here
A refuge
From my own thought process
Frantically searching for
Familiarity
A willow wisp of words
That left me stranded
Here
Alone
Speechless
I will not accept defeat
For the words
My tongue cannot reach
I will find them
And they will move
Cognitive dissidents
Poetry is
A daring escape
A window onto my mind
An act of Self defenestration
John Reilly Apr 2017
It's the middle of the night
I should sleep
But there is no rest
Stillness comes only
in vivid dreams
Where I'm paralyzed
in primal fear
I cry out
racing thoughts
Seeking escape
Scatter about
Like marbles on a ship
Caught in perpetual tempest
On a sea without horizon
I Gather them up
With cold trembling hands
These agitated aggies
Mutinous thoughts
Don't abandon me now
In the middle of the night
John Reilly Apr 2017
I had hoped for spring
Impatient
For its promise
It's warmth and light
An insurrection of color
To finally topple grey
Such color
That my eyes are transfixed
Quince
My mind knows the name
But cannot contain
So much color
It burns
But the sky opens
Winters wrath
Cold and grey
Merciless
reminds me
Of the frailty of things
And rescinds hope


You had hoped for spring
A new awakening
A promise
Fraternity over fear
Independence instead of
Autocracy
We were transfixed
Arab spring
Our mind knows the name
Yet does not grasp its meaning
We watch warily
As the sparks
And the ambers catch
But the winds change
And you are but
A faraway fire
In a faraway place
So much apathy
Reminds you of the frailty of conscience
And rescinds hope

I wanted to write of spring
Of quince
Such color
That it hurts
The eyes
But the skies opened
And the rain burned
And through the tears
My eyes are transfixed
Such evil
I can no longer see spring
But see children
Side by side
Who will never
Be self determined
Or feel warmth
Or know spring
Again
And this is the frailty of
Humanity
And we must not rescind
Help
The title doesn't even come close up to naming what is happening in Syria. I struggled with the title, but didn't want to leave it  unnamed. I struggled with the poem, but didn't want to leave it Unsaid.  I don't want to  trivialize others suffering,   I didn't write this to make myself feel better but there is no calculus equals the sum of what we have seen. I wrote this so I do not forget .
John Reilly Feb 2017
Winter
I know it's coming
Yet still it surprises
Catches me off balance
It's ferocity
It grinds all things
To a standstill
I step outside and marvel at its might
At a world upended
Abandoned
I am alone
Gale force winds
Are no match
For the crushing weight
Of winters silence

Winter
Is something we knew
was coming
Such dire predictions
Predicated with vague hopes
That it may not come
Or be like this
Still we prepare
For my winter
No, our winter
Although I fear it
Drains the warmth from us both
And shake as I might
I will not be able to warm you
In the cold winter night
I am still
Twitching
Restless and rummaging
For what I do not know

Winter
I wish to run out and greet you
Fly upon your winds
And float upon your back
Flee into your cold
And starkness and silence
Eyes tearing
Heart pounding
Lungs searing as
Icy hands pillage them
My frozen facade
Shattered
Fragmented
scattered
By a laugh
sparkling
bits of me
To show you
I am
still
John Reilly Jan 2017
Four months
Too long
Too cold
Too dark
Too busy
Held ransom
By reasons
No excuses
Idiopathic idiocy
Pathological apathy
Four months
Of pain
Eradicated by
four seconds
Of cycling
Cognitive breakthrough
A synaptic symphony
Endorphin re-indoctrination
Free flight
From myself
Four months
*******
John Reilly Jan 2017
Who are you really?
Hazy collection of cherry picked memories
Sort them as you will
Arrange them to your liking
Till you see what you want to see
Parallax  personality
Expectations supplant reality
Composite sketch puzzle
So many years
So many pieces
So many
you
Missing pieces
Filled in at your discretion
Until redirection
All the world is but a stage
But this is not a solo show
You Strut upon
Well Practiced lines
Their delivery
Outlines
The picture you want us to see
The person you want
To be
But you are no magician
And no acting
Can completely conceal
How you act
The reveal
Your true self
Spilling out
Of your ill fitting
People suit
For the missing pieces
Belong to us
And we shall see you
As we see fit
John Reilly Nov 2016
My words fail
Frail
And
Fearful
Slipping from my lips
To crash at my own feet
Bringing me down
Flailing
A silent cry
In the dark
A hidden monument  
To dread
And disease
And despair
Built by
Pride and
Stubbornness
Independent
Of reality
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