John Reilly Aug 2016
Bumper to bumper
Traffic
As far as one
Can see
A sea of
Humanity
All together
Alone
Wary
Weary
And yet
unaware
Encapsulated
In our
Collective ideal
Of individuality
John Reilly Mar 2016
When did you
Become me?
Or did I
become you?
Is apathy
Your analgesic?
Stranger  
In a strange body
Did you run away
To leave me frozen here ?
#apathy #sick  #doubt
John Reilly Mar 2016
America
How did we get here
24 hour news cycle
Veal force fed fear
Reality television
Without any content
Morality supposition
Flaming discontent
Ignored civic duty
We really don't care
Reward the unruly
We like what we hear
Some because
we're better than that
Others because
they want to take back
What never belonged
To only the few
It's not media bias
That you can undo
You've tended a tree
Of hatred and fear
Don't be surprised
By the fruit that it bears
It's become inconvenient
Even you can see that
Calling fact fiction
And fiction fact
It's a grand old party
But parties don't last
Your house is on fire
And you lit the match
John Reilly Aug 2017
Follow the colored lines
down the corridors
one by one
they diverge
abrupt right angles
a sharp turn
into acute psychiatry
a long gentle curve
into imagery
we've seen before
we've been here before
this time is different
and the same
old places
and brand new
parallel worlds
perpendicular paths
follow the lines
of this
Kafkaesque
supercollider
hurtling us down the halls
through the partitions
particles collide
and time stands still
which path do we follow
to bring us back
to the beginning
a whole universe
of possibilities
sad depression hospital mental health  anxiety emotion hope catharsis
John Reilly Aug 2017
I stare down the beach
Past the sand
It's gradient
Shifting from light to dark
Dry and fluffy
to wet and hard
Past the water line
Where children Play
summer games
Where summer is
Still a verb
Past the tiny frigid waves
That quickly conquer
The body
Past the buoys
That trigger
Shrill whistles
For errant swimmers
Testing boundaries
Past the powerboats
Racing
towards the  Weekend
Past the improbable *******
Momentary refuge
As temporary
as a beautiful
Summer day
Past the sailboats
And their
Loitering indifference
Past them all
to the horizon
An illusion
Of affinity
A paradoxical
Infinity
where cobalt skies
And azure seas
Conspire
To never meet
John Reilly Sep 2017
Out of sorts
At least I am out
New sort of me
In a new part of town
While the same old doubts
Whip about
None of this was here before
Not that I knew of
It certainly did not
Spring forth
Out of the blue
It just feels that way
Unplanned
Yet inevitable
Steel and glass monoliths
Shatter and break
The tarmac
What was
Once a barren streetscape
Neglected opportunity
Now is a grand opening
From desolate
To prescient
A megalopolis
Of mindfulness
That reflects back
The question
What do you want
These vessels
To be
Window dressings
All this
Brand newness
An exercise
Is not an exorcism
Just
A rebranding
Of emptiness
John Reilly Aug 2017
The road itself
Had not changed
But the median
That devided  it
Had shifted
And what had once
Been the center
Brightly defined
Is now
A pair
Of black
Parallel lines
Reflective
Visible
a strange
Redaction
Why was I drawn
to this
I circled around
Ride back
Try to guide the bike
Between the lines
And picture
Quite literally
What it means
This new
absence
A shift of what
Once had been
Taken for granted
Is it just me
My life
Ghost  road
Ghost ride
From allegory
To zeitgeist
I am your
Poster child
A guy with
Parkinson's
Riding
No hands
Trying to take
A picture
With my iphone
Pondering
meaning
In the middle of
the ******* road
John Reilly Apr 2017
Frozen
That's the best I can do
To describe it
This feeling
Mid sentence
Mid thought
I'll come to a standstill
The words I'm certain
I was about to say
Now MIA
Their abscence
Acutely felt
Tiny waves of panic
Ripple thru my brain
Where have they gone
And what will I do
Without them
Or this
Or that
A feeling of being
Tantalizing close
To some sort of epiphany
Only to find myself suddenly
Somehow transported
Extraordinary rendition
To this fugue state
How did I get here
A refuge
From my own thought process
Frantically searching for
Familiarity
A willow wisp of words
That left me stranded
Here
Alone
Speechless
I will not accept defeat
For the words
My tongue cannot reach
I will find them
And they will move
Cognitive dissidents
Poetry is
A daring escape
A window onto my mind
An act of Self defenestration
John Reilly Mar 2016
A thought
Contemplated
Corrupts
Controls
And conspires
To be free
A word
Given breath
Breath taking
Independent
Indiscriminate
Unstoppable
No other word
Will
Catch
Or
Contain
It
Write down
The names of
Your accomplices
Here
And we
Will let
You
Go
Free
John Reilly Sep 2016
Conviction is
nothing more than
A coping skill
As we cling
to our Gods
And ideology
Our concepts of
Who and why
We are
A flimsy barricade
To protect us
From the unknown
And unknowable
The impossible
And the possibility
That there is
No reason
No purpose
No intent
a million monkeys typing
How many stars were necessary
To create the sonnet
Of you and me
And everything
An event
As inevitable
As every
Ending
Of this much
I am
Convinced
John Reilly Mar 2016
We're in this together
At least for now that is
Too soon to say
When we will finally decide
To go our separate ways
Routine
Ebb and flow
As we traverse hallow ground
We make it look easy
Together yet apart
Fluid in symphony
Floating soap bubble
Stretching
Swirling
Waiting to erupt
Make no mistake
Should you falter
I will fly
Unleashing such
calamity
You will hunt me down
Crush me for my
Ignominy
Swallow me whole
Embrace me in your fold
Act as though
It never happened
Sweet indifference
My insolence
My impotence
Click back in place
Smile disguised grimace
Hold on
For
Just
another
Turn
Take 2 things you love and try combining them.  Sounds easy, right?  When it comes to bike racing and art, wether poetry or photography I've really struggled to make it work and be, well , subtle.  I hope to get there eventually
jackrabbitstudio.net
John Reilly Jul 2016
I am up
Awake
Before the sun
It's arrival
Heralded by
Colors creeping
Out against
The retreating night sky
Do not mistake me
For a morning person
I do not relish this
Nor do I mourn
For sleep
lost
It could be  
found
But this
is necessary
Not without joy
Not without sacrifice
Without a word
It simply is
A ride
My Fortress
of Solitude
For a mind
Besieged
By thought
At war with
Itself
Do not
retreat
Into the past
A ruthless place
A heckling pace
That tells you
You cannot
Hang on
Give no portage
To fate
For you cannot grasp
What the future holds
Just
Keep moving
Focus
This ride
It is the only ride
That matters
I wrap myself
In its tight fabric
It's sounds
Clicking and clacking
Racing thoughts
Shifting
Centrifugal forces
Sifting
As I order
Myself
Ride
As long
as I pedal
I am
Present
John Reilly Feb 2016
I see you clearly
You cannot hide it
Not like me
Like me
Although you do not know
We're both in the same show
Every cell in my body
Buzzing
An Atomic level
Of anticipation
Waiting for their big
Debut
John Reilly Mar 2016
Silent explosion
Not a sound
To accompany
The detonation
Fragmented
Bits of life
Strewn around
A place
That can no longer
Contain
It's concept
Unsafe
Unwelcoming
Too tired
For triage
Tired of stumbling
Through this
Endless
Minefield
John Reilly Mar 2016
...and they lived
Happily ever after
Funny
That's the end of the story
Happily ever after
Is not a story in and of itself
At least not one that people
Are interested in
Libraries and museums
Crammed with works
Volume upon volume
Detailing the suffering
Of the human condition
Happiness ever after
Is banished
To the remainders table
John Reilly May 2016
Pause
One moment
Hyper focus
Self aware
redefine time
Blur the lines
Auto
biographic
Abandoning
or genetic inevitability
A story
Pre  written
In Indelible ink
Nothing
Is as
Invisible
As we think
John Reilly Nov 2016
My words fail
Frail
And
Fearful
Slipping from my lips
To crash at my own feet
Bringing me down
Flailing
A silent cry
In the dark
A hidden monument  
To dread
And disease
And despair
Built by
Pride and
Stubbornness
Independent
Of reality
John Reilly Sep 2017
free fall
but then
nothing is free
just because I
cannot grasp
doesn't mean
I don't
hold on
the insistence
of a grip
lost
what
you and I
were
and what
we
will be
not freely
but bound
and entangled
we collide
and seperate
in flight
stuck
in tense
we plummet
together
and fall apart
an eternity
of the moment
bracing
for imminent
impact
John Reilly Nov 2016
Dusk and
Dawn
The fleetingest
Of Moments
When
The world
Pauses
Then
Pivots
And reveals
A brief glimpse
The enormity
Of Everything
A story
Told in hues
So that
you may
Understand
John Reilly May 2017
I should shake my head
Yes
No
Give some sign
I am here
Am I here?
Yes
Somewhere deep down inside
It is hard to get out
Takes energy
Energy I do not feel i have
To escape
Outside
Escape
Out of me
Escape
Out of my mouth
Here I am
John Reilly Mar 2016
I cannot read
your mind
And anyways
I'm not a fan
Of Horror stories
John Reilly Mar 2016
I should write this down
Before I forget
Because I know I will
Forget
And you will
forget
And
it
I
You
will be
Forgotten
Unless I nail it down
Here
Now
Forever
John Reilly Mar 2016
When I look at you
Myself
Who I see
Looks back
Intense
So far from
Me
That I can't recall
What you looked like
John Reilly Apr 2017
It's the middle of the night
I should sleep
But there is no rest
Stillness comes only
in vivid dreams
Where I'm paralyzed
in primal fear
I cry out
racing thoughts
Seeking escape
Scatter about
Like marbles on a ship
Caught in perpetual tempest
On a sea without horizon
I Gather them up
With cold trembling hands
These agitated aggies
Mutinous thoughts
Don't abandon me now
In the middle of the night
John Reilly Dec 2017
What are we
looking for
Lost voyeurs
Scrolling thru
Each other's lives
At breakneck speeds
Time traveling
From Not present
To inaccessible  
An unconscious collective
Our departures marked
By blue screen glare
And a vacant stare
Intelligent phone
Intransigence drones
The United State of
Learned helplessness
John Reilly Aug 2017
Pick a number
One to ten
Such calculus
I find
Impossible
Uncharted territory
My inverted world
There is no translation
For things that are
Difficult to put into words
Are inumerous
Therefore y
Being undefinable
Makes for an algorithm
Whose sum cannot
Be proven
Logically
A tangent
Of acute panic
An irrational
Conclusion
John Reilly Mar 2016
The moment
I'm still
I start
to slip
Not tranquil
Free fall
fit
I ****
Wide awake
You
Insist
You're pulling
The strings
John Reilly Mar 2016
A groove
Cut too
Shallow
A shoulder
Too high
Unsupported
Raw layers
Veneers
Exposed
Rocking
Back
And forth
Till something
Splinters
And cracks
No amount
Of glue
Will hold this
Together
Rabbet
Rout
Remove even
More of
The material
Myself
Repeat until
The pieces
Hold fast
John Reilly Dec 2017
withdrawal
is not an easy thing
my affliction
my addiction
how does it fare
for you
locked doors
secure floors
you can be safe
if you could only learn
how not
to be
you
my support
meets retort
access
affection
all denied
Of course I care
we’ve both been there
i empathize
with your view
while mine
goes black
for what I lack
the oxygen
i call
you
John Reilly Nov 2016
Avoidance
And complacency
led you
To this place
Static
Built
this arena
The Matadors
gaze
Fierce
Angry
Scornful
Challenging and
Antagonizing you
Charge
Or have you
Confused
A white flag
For red
Again
John Reilly Feb 2016
wait
be patient
waiting room
out patient
hospital remainders
bland art walls
endless beige carpets
down narrow clinic halls
door after door hiding
other peoples lives
suffering
white noise
appointment to appointment
slowly cycle thru
the medical digestive system
please hold
describe your pain
numerically
so we can assist you
mathematically
your story
your self
one to ten
in under fifteen
this is not a bill
but you may be reprehensible
John Reilly Mar 2016
Momentum
moving
keep moving
around
circling
mustn’t stop
for a moment
I’ll get stuck
keep moving
running away
til
I am moved
to stop
by a thought
bringing me down
John Reilly Mar 2016
To be clear
An anecdote about
All the suffering in the world
Is not to be confused with
An antidote
For the pain
Of the person you
Are telling it to
John Reilly Feb 2016
What are you thinking?
Eyes fixed on mine
Your pupils
Pulling mine own into focus
From a million miles away
Their gravity
The gravity
Where was I?
A vast wasteland of a universe
Footsteps upon footsteps
Feeling I've been here
So many times before
Feeling I've been here
Too Long
I forgot to stop
Treading along
This path
This earth
The gravity
Finally pulling me down
Pulling me out
What are you thinking?

nothing
Now
John Reilly Jun 24
Now
Don’t go back
And try to compare
Then with now
To superimpose
26 onto 46
A faulty logic
The past will not
Heal the future
The future
Cannot corrupt
The past
What was
Or what will be
Are concepts
To which you owe
No fealty
In the kingdom of now
Ok
John Reilly Nov 2016
Ok
How have you been?
Sorry it's been awhile
Since I've written
I guess things are ok
Haven't much to write about
It's not fair
I know
That I only write
Of Sorrow and
In desperation
One might think
That's all
I have left
unspoken
I just wanted to say
It's ok
John Reilly Jan 2017
Who are you really?
Hazy collection of cherry picked memories
Sort them as you will
Arrange them to your liking
Till you see what you want to see
Parallax  personality
Expectations supplant reality
Composite sketch puzzle
So many years
So many pieces
So many
you
Missing pieces
Filled in at your discretion
Until redirection
All the world is but a stage
But this is not a solo show
You Strut upon
Well Practiced lines
Their delivery
Outlines
The picture you want us to see
The person you want
To be
But you are no magician
And no acting
Can completely conceal
How you act
The reveal
Your true self
Spilling out
Of your ill fitting
People suit
For the missing pieces
Belong to us
And we shall see you
As we see fit
John Reilly Feb 2016
They say
Your  life
Flashes before your eyes
In the moments before death
Your mind
Slowing the perception
Of time
Struggling to piece together
How your entire history
Led you to this
I look back
Wistfully
On a youth wasted
Looking forward
Wishfully
How did I miss
Their junction?
I think
Death will be
A moment in time
For which I will be
Present
And accounted for
John Reilly Aug 2017
I've always found puzzles
Exactly that
Puzzling
It seemed to me
An exercise in futility
Put the pieces together
From this jumbled chaos
So it looks like the orderly picture
On the box
Hardly puzzling
The answer
is right in front of you
The puzzles here
Are worn
And weary
They have been assembled
And broken down
Over and over
Again and again
The cracks and
Worn edges
Interrupt their picture
Some are missing pieces
They will never look
Like the picture on the box
Others are mostly assembled
Left here
Waiting
For someone to finish then
Some have no box at all
No way to contain them
No picture to show them
What they should look like
John Reilly Jan 15
Little rabbit
On the fringe
Do I frighten you
Is it fear
That froze you here
In front of me
Or are you trying
to tell me
Something
I follow your lead
As you hop
Ahead of me
And pause
You turn to see
If I understand
Is this a game
Always just
out of reach
So close
So familiar
Yet you are
Still feral
Unpredictable
And would rather
Run into traffic
Than except
What I offer
John Reilly Nov 2016
It starts
with a bang
A single shot
Followed by a
Chorus
Of clacking
Clicking
And whirring
As though
The bullet
Tore a hole
In the sky
And now
all the air
Is rushing out
******* us
With it
A spectacle
To witness
Such great pitch
And movement
A steady buzz
Buzzing
rolling
Cacophony
Fueled by
Ambition
aggression
And panic
Elbows out
Jarring
Sparring
Until we settle
Into our rhythm
Carbon and metal
And organic
Mass
Undulating along
Whoosh
Wooshing
Flying
on the ground
Escape velocity
Hurtling along
Pushing
A wall of air
The winds of
Our arrival
Surrounding us
An envelope
Sealing
This new singularity
From the rest of
The universe
Until it collapses
On itself
And vanishes
Until
The next
Event
Horizon
John Reilly Mar 2016
Two
from
Four
Half
of what
ought to be
remains
so much more
than I
can
carry
John Reilly Nov 2016
My Body
Is evidently
damning
I plead for
Clemency
I do not
Wish to leave
Not my time
I do not
Want to serve
My changed mind
An Unspeakable
Sentence
An inescapable
Outcome
Fugitive
In
A fuge state
Pardon me
John Reilly May 2017
Shake the man's hand
No, not a just a man.
A doctor
A neurologist
Shake the Doctor's hand
He gave you something
He gave you Parkinson's
No, he did not
He gave you what you wanted
He gave you a diagnosis
He is smiling
He does not have Parkinson's
I know this Because
he can smile
He smiles all the time
Not a very big smile
He is hard to read
Not really smiling all the time
Perhaps we are not so different
John Reilly May 2017
I don't know when you got here
Or how
I can only guess
Part genetic stowaway
Sure, maybe
Or you leaked in
Through one of a couple
Of cracked helmets
Either way
You're here now
And it's been so long
I can scarcely remember
A time without you
I can scarcely
Remember
Period
It's a fuzzy feeling
Not warm
Mind you
Or cold
I can't handle extremes anymore
Just fuzzy
My memories
When you got here
When I left
What's left that's me
And what's a
Symptom
Or side effect
Who I am
Who I was
How much
How long
Have you been
Orchestrating
This shakedown
John Reilly Mar 2016
scorcher
irreverent
cocky
fire *******
such luminosity
defying expectations
suscitavit a canibus
they dominated you
feral pack
left you no scraps
rescued
via one
whom recused
not up to the task
cannot fill in the gaps
teach you the facts
but some teachers trespass
broke free from their fold
swallowed them whole
insoluble
intolerable
Yet such luminosity
Wit
Generosity
Unfiltered
curiosity
Deprived of the basics
A need to know basis
Survival instinct
Relationships
Extinct
In some fashion
An artists
Rendition
Creative spark
Nuclear fission
Compassionate
Empathetic
For all you will listen
Except for yourself
A struggle
Willful prohibition
John Reilly Mar 2016
I never could
Read between
The lines
All I see
Is
The space
That
Separates
You
From
Me
John Reilly Mar 2016
Momentarily
I will be still
Eventually
I will be still
Eternally
I will be still
Perpetually
Restless will
John Reilly Mar 2016
Hit the brakes
Jaw drop
Come to a
Short stop
Stop motion
Mystery
Stick man
In front of me
Staggering
To watch you cross
Such a will
I'm at a loss
Pondering
As you pass
Steadfast
On your path
How long was it
To get to here
Atlas shrugged
He could not bear
The crushing weight
My future fears
An audience
Of just one peer
Time lapsed
In this spot
Freeze frame
Racing thoughts
Self flagellation
Shame on me
Marching cross
That may
Not be
John Reilly Jan 2017
Four months
Too long
Too cold
Too dark
Too busy
Held ransom
By reasons
No excuses
Idiopathic idiocy
Pathological apathy
Four months
Of pain
Eradicated by
four seconds
Of cycling
Cognitive breakthrough
A synaptic symphony
Endorphin re-indoctrination
Free flight
From myself
Four months
*******
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