By Joanne Mathis

No! It's not menopause, it's you.
I'm just not strong enough to let
you know I've had it and I'm not
having it!

For years you've been
touching me in a way that
makes my skin crawl. I'm not
feeling it!

Love is in my change of life
and your not changing it!  
******* my teeth and rolling
my eyes, you totally ignore.
I have never uttered those three
magic words and I'm just not
saying it!

I left you because I did not
want my son to be affected by it!  
Then I got back with you because
my son misses it!

**** it! I'm not having it anymore!

How long is an hour?
How far a hundred miles?
An hour is just the time
between a heart beat and the next
and a hundred miles is just
between a sigh and the next,
for time and space,they vanish
when I spend time with to you.

your laughter exploding mirth
your assurance brimming faith
your perception your wisdom
The riotous spirit at your core

You are that stardust that tumbled
Across space, landed on this planet
right at the spot where I would see you
meet you and be impacted by you!!

Eternity they say is from infinity to infinity,
but I know my eternity is from you to you.

The winter air is alive and aglow,
Filled with icy flakes floating to the ground.
Your heat my only warmth,
In the cold numbing snow.
Above us the snow filled trees,
All gleaming a sparkly white,
They seem to bloom with petals,
Their blossoms vibrant in the moonlight.
And yet my mind is a blank slate,
Captured by the sweetness of this moment,
and the allure of the snow.

Love me like I am no longer broken bones in a working body
Find that I am still whole yet divided
Forgive me for never loving myself
This dream I have still projects itself
Knitting the sky together with plea agreements
Begging for you to finally see me clearly
The rain is gone and we are still here
Broken bones heal and I am still alive
But know that I am trying
Trying to be better than me
Working at building a future out of hand grenade pins
Pulled from mistakes thrown out of my life

How unworthy is my soul of the
abundance of blessing that have
been bestowed upon it?

How wretched I have been in my
dealings and thinking when I am
unwrapping the package that engulfs
myself like parchment paper.

Instead of gently peeling away my
nuances so that the mixture of my
true meaning can be exposed, I
choose to rip open that paper
relentlessly letting the flavors
and juices escape only to be
lost forever.

I am so reckless!

"Wake up!" The little angel voice shouted.
I laid there with my eyes shut tight
pretending not to hear the voice. The
slippery rope was wrapped around my neck,
so my little hands grabbed onto it and I
pulled my knees into my chest. “Push the rope
over your head, you must be next to the hole!"
"I'll never go back through again!" I murmured.
"There must be a mistake. I've
already taken my turn."
"If you won't go," said the little angel voice,
I'll get him and he'll make you go!" So I ******
my thumb and waited for him.
Gently the slippery rope rose over my head.
I felt a soothing nudge coaxing me around
until my head was at the hole. When I opened
my eyes I saw him. "I was here before," I
said. He touched my lips with his finger and
whispered into my ear, "You left too soon you’ll have to go again.