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Joanna Alexandre Dec 2018
The water that I love holds me tight
and in my heart, ignites
Everything I think I can be
And all the dreams that make me, me.
The cold water then rushes my head
And fills my whole soul with dread
Of who I had always hoped to be
And how that could never really be me.
It runs down my throat
And feeds me the lifeless boat
Of drugs and pills and anti psychotics
It takes me away from my dreams and heroics
But it keeps me from drowning
And it stops me from downing
So I’ll let the water hold me tight
And find safety,
rather than let myself ignite.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a year ago and it’s been a constant struggle to find the will to take my medication and let it **** part of me but be safe. I’m still learning how to live with it and coming to terms with the longevity of this mental illness but each day I’m coming more and more to terms with it and how to cope. Thank you all for your support, my poetry has been a huge help and so have all of you.
Joanna Alexandre Dec 2018
I’m in love with a man
With an unformidable temper
And he loves me
like I’m a punching bag
I’m never prepared when it’s fight night
But I do the best I can
Though he’s Muhammad Ali
And clearly the better man.
Joanna Alexandre Dec 2018
Sometimes I think about how the world would taste
Should I see everything in Pink?
I wonder whether each morning
My coffee would be sweeter
And my mug less boring
Would I wake up earlier than the sun
And in doing housework
Have more fun?
Would skirts feel less out of place
If they matched the blush
I’d put upon my face?
Would I bruise more easily
As rough hands under sheets
Try to find me?
Would I laugh a little softer
And feel better about myself
Standing beside her?
Would my dinners be warmer
And my occupied bed
Feel wider?



I wonder if my world were Pink
Would I be more or less of a woman;
What do you think?
Joanna Alexandre Dec 2018
He told me he loved me and
I bleed from the heart
He told me that he needed me and
My spinal cord snapped
I told him it was over and
In time it came back,
I came back.
Joanna Alexandre Mar 2018
It's no one else problem it's mine my own
I should've just stuck through it all alone
I should've sewn my mouth shut and kept it at that
But instead I had to fight not realising they would fight back
And I tried to do it I really did
But I'm not strong enough to go through with it who am I to kid
I'm weak and that's all I will be
I mean look at me how can you not see
He can take it all **** it let him
I've got nothing left this is my last whim
And so I'm pulling out like they all expected
I'm lay down the gun and let them put it to my head
Joanna Alexandre Sep 2017
But instead
I laughed, hard like I used to
And your arms felt like the sand and the ocean
And I looked into you're blue eyes, and I appreciate the different shades
Fighting for your attention,
and you're oblivious to the war waging
Your laugh is the sweetest sound I've ever heard
And your heart holds the beat
And I can't get that song out of my head
And I hope you'll never leave my bed
Because your body is so warm you could melt all the icebergs
And I laugh as I blame you for global warming
Becuse beauty like yours
Beauty that beams from within and pierces the skin of all those you meet
Beauty that expands like a black hole when you smile and I melt
Beauty like you consumes me.
Joanna Alexandre Jul 2017
I got my ******* pierced the other day,
it didn't really hurt.
What hurt more was my mother telling me she didn't like the silver ring in my nose
But didn't mind my ****** piercings because she "couldn't see those"
As though my face is a canvas and I am not allowed to paint
And this body's everyone else's property and I am but a house mate.
I should not disrupt others upon my first entry but in my room have free range
And so I play with my nose ring because I know it'll cause her disdain.
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