People always say that it hurts at night
and apparently screaming into your pillow at 3 am is the equivalent of being heartbroken.
it's 9 am on a Wednesday morning
and you're standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the coffee to brew
And the smell of dusty sunlight and Columbia roast makes you miss them so much
you don't know what to do with your hands.
I don't know what to do with myself
My mother told me that you can't cure depression,
that taking pills wouldn't fix me and taking six instead of the one the doctor prescribed definitely wasn't going to speed up the process. But then I met a boy who tasted better than Sertraline. He made it easier to get out of bed. He kissed me like I was alive, like I wasn't empty, like maybe there was something left inside me. He made my bones ache less when he touched me. He made it okay. When my world was crashing down around me, he picked up all the pieces. When I stopped breathing and tried to tear open my veins to find the last bits of happiness left in my veins, he was there to lace me back together. But he left and I haven't washed my hair in three weeks.
My mother was right.
I wrote this when I was drunk and I'm still drunk
And maybe it's wrong
to wrap my mind around this,
but I can't wait to have his skin
burn your skin completely off me.
Have his lips
invade all the areas
I won't even remember the way you ****** me.
That's been injected into my bloodstream
for too long.
And when it's all over,
I swear I'll reach into myself,
and I will no longer pull out pieces of you.
I can't sleep and I keep thinking of him so this *****.
Sometimes I feel like
apart my skin and
for a reason for why
I feel this
Maybe my veins are tangled,
or something is lodged in my
Because it feels like something
inside of me is missing
I swear I see flowers
Blooming from your chest
And galaxies in your eyes
I see the stars on
The tip of your tongue
And the sun
On your skin
You are the world to me
For my beautiful 5 year old niece
I wish I knew how to explain this.
This feeling of disgust and emptiness.
I didn't even look at myself in the mirror once today.
I knew my reflection would only make this feeling
People say I'm
than I once was,
but I don't see it.
I pretend I do, but
I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
My journey through my depression
The feeling of
missing you is
stuck in my
I keep trying
to cough you
Maybe I am.