if you gave me a bracelet
i'd wear it till it rips

if you wrote me a letter
i'd learn all the words by heart

love
is complicated
and happy
and sad
and relaxing
and anxious
all at the same time

do you even love me
why do you love me?
how can you love me
when i'm so broken
when i'm so ruined
when i'm so ugly
do
you
even
have
a
clue
how messed up i am

i can't even tell you how i feel properly
and i'm vomiting out the words on pages of letters
emails
i will never send
letters
you will never read
my depression?
you don't need to know

your girl
is perfectly fine
she's whole
and not broken
and not bruised
and not hurt

i love you baby
i love you
you are the stars in my sky
you're a whole constellation
and this is love
this is love
this is love
is this love?

can you call this love

i break
i cry
i scream
i hide

i die a million times inside

i dream
i jump
i fly
i fall

i fall. i fall. i fall. i fall.
and i die a million times inside

I get so high around you
But I'm not on any drugs
So tell me do you feel the same
Do you float up into space too

Fly with me to Neptune
And to all the stars beyond
I'll hold your hand and you can hold mine

Take me to the end of your galaxy.

I smile at your question.
You hesitated, then nodded.
But I'm breaking inside.
And the me inside of me
Screaming at you
"I'm breaking"
Why couldn't you see?
Why can't you see me?
But I know.
It's not your fault.
I just didn't let you see.
Can I let you see?
But
Will you leave me if I let you see?
If you run away, please don't run away
I'll never be okay if you run away
Inside I'm grasping, and this way
I'll never be okay either way
So I say
"Actually,
No."