When I dreamt of you, you were petals on my eyelids
citrus mist in bursts of juices running down my jaw
I lapped your murky mixtures from the frothy brim
planting puckered pressures to your wiry grin
you were melted nectar, sticky sap on my palm
and in rising clouds of warm morning tea I found calm

something opens
when I’m with you
in this moment
sign and sinew
alien abduction
euphoric seizure
standing up suddenly
after hours of leisure

You cannot deny me your breath
the warmth I feel on my face and neck
I will die and melt
into the floorboard as a speck
a fleck, picked off by a flea
from me, your heart must not go
it guides my every decision
I mold myself
from your footsteps
the imprint in sifting sand you create with your feet
you cannot deny me your flesh
or this body I occupy will
crumble down folding in on itself
decrepitated it will lay
deflated on the ground
you cannot deny me your eyes
they scream to my ears
and keep me awake
else I sleep through the rest of my life
eyes open but nothing inside.

Tension coils around
struggling sinews of muscles
strain to break free
resist
the oncoming panic
beads of sweat
drip down an already burning forehead
body flinches from ******
needles upon the skin
tanned and burning
starving for air
and reprieve
you are leaving me
and the fear
has crawled it's way through
the back of my mind
can only think of you
and perpetuate this fear
climbing up my spine
and into my every thought
is the disease of your imminent absence
going to **** me
suffocating on the thin air
that refuses to enter my lungs
gasping and immobile
I ponder your body
I rest my thoughts upon your neck
and breathe in your sweet scent
never again
will I melt into your green eyes
that calm every worry in my soul
your life is a mountain
swept into the sea by words
commanding me to collapse
to relinquish it all
would be to finally rest
the raucous vibrations of my thoughts
plague my mind daily with their evil
preventing me from being close to you
to stand alongside you
to share the same earth
I would do anything
to be your shadow
the paranoia hammers down
my casket
is sealed tight as
my fate
has been written long ago
I have been destined to despair
the life I live
you are leaving me.

Sometimes I'll sit in a chair
or walk through a room
that you've also sat in
or walked through
just because the idea that
the ghost of your presence
is sharing a space with the reality of mine
sets me free and captivates me
all at the same time.

Sunset saps my energy
drains me
stumbled through ravines of trees
branches tangled in my mind's eye
and charma always chases me
encases me
in the outer layers of your aura
I found trouble underneath rocks
scattered along the sides of mossy mountains
moths wings beat out to escape
hungry bear claws
grey clouds came in without warning
tied to charging seagull flocks
and you swept me away with them
because you thought it would be fun
but my feet haven't felt ground
in a long while
and now I'm very prone to frown.

eating the sludgy contents
of your beautiful mind's conscience
and dreaming in your thoughts
while choking on blood clots
slurping up tangled tendons
drowning in remembrance
tales of your history
have now become a meal for me
digested in your calculations
I am finally free of my frustration.