you made a mockery of the only thing I had

you took the essence of me and laughed at it

I didn't want to be this way
I try very hard to be strong

I think to myself how I am crazy
I didn't ask to be born with a messed up mind

I live on a roller coaster in my head
and sometimes it breaks and can't go back up

I am sorry I am this way

I don't know how to be okay again and I hurt so much my brain flirts with the concept of suicide

I could never hurt my family and friends in such a way
but my heart is terrified of my chemically imbalanced brain

I am trying my best

you are my suicide note
my last dying wish
and my last will
of hope

Waking to this,
the very good
morning kiss,
absolutely
smashing.