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Jan Harak Jan 2015
You want to know more
about my dreams?
I had nights filled
with horrible nightmares,
flames burning my skin,
knives cutting through heart,
pit of eternal agony.
Death, screams, pain.

They are all gone.
What was the last dream I had?
I dream of you.
I dream of you
and nothing else.
It was about color of your hair,
the way your face turned red,
when you smile...

And I was there,
sitting by,
feeling the warmth
of your body,
feeling the texture
of your skin,
feeling the gentle pressure
your hand against my hand.

And I was there,
holding you,
so you will never leave again.
We can stay frozen like that,
until our dying day,
just you and me,
and the fragrance of your body.
Everlasting happiness.

But it was just a dream,
just a vision of things,
that will never be.
Just God mocking me.
This sweetness is poison,
I can't let go of it.
I need you so bad,
why did I wake up?
Jan Harak Jan 2015
Do you really want
your body to be covered in scars
for the rest of your life?
Yes, I hope you will live a long and fruitful life.
And that you would have kids of your own
and stop them from doing the stupid mistakes
you are doing right now.
Jan Harak Jan 2015
Today I found
the scar
on my hip.
I mean you can't see it,
but you can feel it,
if you touch.
I just thought:
"I will never get away,
it will always be there"
Some "mistakes" stay with us for life.
  Dec 2014 Jan Harak
Girl On The Wing
How lovely it is
to talk to stranger
and have them understand.
Jan Harak Dec 2014
Girl,
to me you are a star of the night sky,
you are so far away,
yet, it does not stop me
from feeling the warmth of your company,
from seeing your incredible beauty,
I could write down thousand compliments
and they would still do you no justice
But there are times,
I wish you would fall
down from that sky,
so I would have you all just for me,
I would say to your wonderful eyes,
how special you are,
how much I want you to be happy.
But you are not my sun,
you are not the center
of my universe.
But I wish you to find,
someone to make you his star,
his one and only queen of the universe,
and together you will live
a wonderful fairy tale
happily ever after.
For someone very dear and special...
  Dec 2014 Jan Harak
Davin Jane Andrews
warthogs for men singing amen
i ink my scars with a ball point pen
buffalo grass and ******
they want *** but won't die
i want *** but it's not me
they tell me that I'm pretty

i smoke **** in a blazing forest
i feel as rubbery as a curious tourist
and plenty of coke goes in my nose
i bleed headaches, when it rains it snows
i'm dreaming of a white christmas, i suppose
with my squad when i don't want to feel alone

i make lies but can't hide like room raiders
i cut up coke for all my haters
with a side of oxy
tells me that I'm foxy
right before he knocks me
my brain goes on high alert
i can ******* stomach
because cake was yesterday's desert

i say that we're proxies
i take the red pill
some like oxys  
some like bikini ****
some nights aren't so chill
some brains are mentally ill
but he doesn't like to feel, y'feel

tell me if you want a
*** flavored banana
a broken heart from havana
or to drink my coke flavored blood
dragging me through the mud  

whoops
son of sam
touch my **** like we're not fam
drug me if you want to slam
my head off the coffee table
i'll choke on fear until i'm not stable
i pretend i'm in a fable
this can't be real
does he not feel

break it off and shove it down my throat
cut me into pieces
make a blood moat
oak splinters suffered through winters in my spine
find you in jail and you ask if i'm fine

i break off rhymes like i break out grams
shaking because of a spiked promise
i wish i wasn't here
i wish i wasn't here

sham in the garden of clouds. when you '****' you want people around
when i cry, you hear no sound  

buffalo grass and ******
they ******* but ask why
my box in their face
i don't want to be in this place
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