I was in a strange place most call it Florida the land of sweltering heat and bad choices .
I had no friends to speak of I was alone afraid but not naked unlike those ******'s on TV .
Hey **** **** the rude oversized man yelled at me from my comfy usal sleeping place underneath the booth .
What did I ******* tell you bout sleeping in this place ?
Umm honestly dude I was to drunk to remember that and I was far to busy trying to pick up your sister man she's gotta great rack your family must be so proud.
look ******* I'm tired of your **** and smart mouth every night its the same old **** with you .
You get blasted insult half the place then crawl off and try to sleep making me have to beat your *** and toss you out the door you ever get tired of getting slapped around?
Well now that you put it that way it does seem like a vicious cycle
but hey I mean does your sister ever tire of turning tricks in the restroom to help pay for your *** change ?
The over sized bouncer seemed slightly upset at that last comment as his steroid fed veins popped up on his neck wow he must be really ******* guess it truly would matter to someone who cared .
You ******* I'm going beat the **** out of your drunken *** .
I just love it when you talk **** sweetheart but why not skip the foreplay I mean sure who doesn't enjoy some heavy petting and **** grabbing maybe a sloppy kiss or two I'm kidding only women dig that **** men don't need to set the mood usually.
Hey want to ****?
Works just fine ah romance isn't it grand?
The muscle bound frustrated weight lifter was on the verge of blowing a gasket but I never judge a man by his ****** preference I mean seriously I went to college I mean I didn't study there or anything but hey at those drunken frat parties its not like anyone noticed I didn't belong .
Besides the jocks were far to busy trying to ******* the cheerleaders .
Yeah remind me never to dress up like a cheerleader again on Halloween .
And never tell a football **** you used to be a tight end
that **** hurt but enough with memory lane darlings .
My ******* dance partner slash sleep interrupting bouncer ******* .
Was licking his chops just imaging the thought of twisting my spine in several directions .
Sure he may not have been smart but when you bench press a small car and stand seven foot tall does it truly ******* matter?
For a second my buzz wore off and allowed something I seldom have to slip back into my thoughts .
Common sense cause the thought of being turned into a human basket ball truly didn't sound all that alluring
Look Conan sure you can get all riod raged over my lack of respect for the rules but much like ******* who own this site you will learn its best to ignore me and bury my work while eight year olds trend ripping off pop songs .
And yes kids that's what we call a dig don't worry its far from the last .
I mean sure we can fight you can break my bones bruise my ego but one way or the other I will probably surprise you much like your parents did when they informed you weren't really there's.
I mean most people want to wash the **** off them the gorillas at the zoo throw at them .
Where your mom cleaned it up took it home and named it whatever the hell your name is.
You ******* loud mouthed ***** that's it no more talking lets do this .
There wasn't any reasoning with this unhappy muscle monkey .
Guess my charm was lost in his lift heavy things up then put them down logic .
We went into the alley along with half the people that were in the bar apparently they truly were starved for entertainment.
That and they wanted to see me be murdered.
Tuff crowd must have been something I said .
Kick his ******* *** Frank! One guy yelled .
Yeah break his jaw Franky another woman said .
Don't worry this is going to be a cake walk guys.
The bouncer said as he pounded his fist into his hand a few times .
For all his puffing up he seemed perplexed why I hadn't even taken off my glasses or put down my beer for that matter .
I just viewed him getting more and more angry as I laughed .
Only further enraging him more .
What the ******* laughing at ******!!!
You really really sure you want to do this big guy?
Yeah stupid why you think I'm out here ?
Honestly I thought for a change of atmosphere maybe the smell of some fresh garbage in the air.
Just shut the **** up the talk ends now!!!
He walked forward his hands clenched but was thrown off as I put my hands up .
I just got to say before this sorry .
What the hell are you talking bout you stupid ******* ?
Well sorry cause it's really going to hurt there big guy .
Yeah when I crush your skull you got that right *******!.
No silly muscle man my surprise.
He laughed looking at me as if I were half insane almost puzzled much the way most people view me .
What ******* surprise !?
I took a nice long sip of my bourbon and coke .
Well big guy your standing in a puddle of **** and I got a police issue tazer .
He didn't even have a chance to look down as he would have noticed the little red dot on his chest .
Oh **** was all that the mountain of a man muttered as his body was lit up like a Christmas tree.
The thud sounded like a old oak hitting the ground .
I kept pulling the trigger as he flopped around like a fish outta water .
The crowd looked at me with a sense of disgust the old woman who had cheered on the want to be pro wrestler to break my neck .
Looked at me and said you are a no good cheat .
Why thank you my drunken washed up old **** of a friend .
They all began to head back into the bar as I left the human boulder laying in a puddle of **** .
Remember children never fight fair always fight to win.
Fin.