someday it will
come again.
someday someone
will come in.

a star
with the deepest depths in the eyes
with the gentlest of breaths
and endless soul in the smile

one day
i'll forgive this pain
not forget -
forgive.

never quite one
never both
belonging to neither
pushed to either side

it's a constant crisis.
like the petals of an iris
slowly blowing away from finding my
identity.

two worlds
unlike each other in every way
where each party says i am too like the other
something all immigrants and children of those
can understand.

the sweet smell of homecooked meals
permeating the neighborhood
full of those who could never appreciate.

the laughter of my friends
ringing in the air
of a home they could never quite understand.

the thoughts
invading my head
of a culture i tried to reject.

who am i?
two worlds
never quite one
never both
always pushed to either side.

is it love
if you never loved me back
the butterflies in my stomach
were unmatched?

is it love
if i saw the gaze in your eyes
on the girl whose eyes were moonstones
and smile was the great wide ocean

is it love
if i built you a ship to her heart
from the wood of the forest in my soul?

is it love
when i lay at night no where near
asleep
wondering where my shortcomings were
or how i can fit her moonstones in my eyes

is it love
is it love
is it love
am i in love with you?

There’s something a bit beautiful about today;
The fact it isn’t tomorrow
And you already know yesterday.

But there’s something a bit scary about today
The fact it isn’t yesterday
And only tomorrow will you know today.

i trusted until i hear everything i’ve ever told him from the mouths of people i never told...

like a sea of teeth and mouths and unfamiliar lips
drowning me in their laughter
while i feel the me within myself rip.

i trusted him so.
trusted him,
trusting me,
Until the rivers in my eyes just could not trust any longer.

i gave you the sun.
created in the toolshed of my heart

the labor into making
a light out of dark.

it was imperfect,
it was patchy.
but it was my sun.

and i so wanted it to be yours.

i hope by the time you read this
you have realized something about yourself.

anything at all.

that you're beautiful
that you're smart
that you're worth it
that you're art.

but i can't tell you these things
since they are things you must find within yourself;
i know
you will not believe me.

to those who have not found:
search a little closer
get a better mirror
magnify the music of your soul ten times the max volume
it can reach.

i guarantee you,
there's something there.
and even if everything else seems like it's in despair

remember you had it in you to get here.

so there must be something.
anything at all.

for how can you ever hope to love someone else,
if you can not find the love within yourself?