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And then it hit me
I was still waiting
I was still waiting for an apology

I was waiting for a small
Sign of regret
Of repentance
Of realization
That you messed up.

It wasn’t until this occurred to me
That I realized this was what
was holding me back

this was what was
keeping me
from moving on
from growing up
and growing past you

But I do not need your apology
I do not need a sign from you
Of regret
Of guilt
I need you gone
I need you out
I need you to leave my mind
And to stop entering through the smallest spaces in my thoughts

When I can get past this
When I can leave you behind
Then I will grow
I will lead
Not only myself
But others
To happiness

When I stop waiting for your apology
I can become the bigger person

And I will.
I care about people more than i care about myself
yet people still treat me like an antique book and put me on a shelf
And there i sit for days, maybe even years
until your all alone and you need somebody else
and there i will sit, where you last put me down
loyal and waiting to hear how the world let you down
I'm better off alone
I'm better off cold
I can strongly relate to the feeling of not wanting to get out of bed
not because im tired, but because i wish i was dead
the sadness is my bed, which i need to leave but cant
because im used to empty, im comforted by sad
being happy and content is too much in the unknown
i'd prefer to be by myself, to spend my time alone
 Mar 2014 Fatima Zahid
calion
oh darling, even
the strongest shelters collapse.
even you will break.
verbose title, brief poem
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