Friend or foe?
A traitor you don't know
True colors that never show
Is he a friend or foe?

I thought he was different,
Like a new discovered scent.
Believing I really can't,
I really thought he was different.

Who to believe,
Who to trust?
Shouldn't deceive,
But what is must?

I am living with Nobody.
I talk to him,
I eat dinner with him,
I share thoughts with him,
I sleep with him.
But tonight was different,
I slept with Pillows.

The undesirably lonesome feeling,
That haunted me since then.
It stayed with me in agony,
Mourning for consort.
I slept with tears drying,
And my beloved Pillows,
All drenched.

I am filmy glad,
To be in love with Nobody.

I tried to say my honest reflection,
But the words are still not bare.
I tried to change my peripheral,
But still in blinding sunshine,
And never has been discerned.
The feeling is unbearable
Though I never hollered.
But shared much weariness.

Everyday I see you more,
Let's say I need you more.
You brought smile once
Then now, I just can't.
Now I wished more,
More than the talk we talked,
More than your perception.
More than reality.

I wished to be older,
Then I'd be appropriate for you,
Then we'll be in same generation,
When that Sir is more than gone.

My lips shudder from the fear of speaking my heart,
Defeated by the frightening disappointment.
I hid under the blinds of the windows of my soul,
Forbidding everyone not to glance.
Darkness took me to the deepest trench.
It drowned the dreams I dream't,
The hopes I kept.

I had a dream on a sleepless night
Wandering on the storm of luminary spheres,
I counted them all as they wink.
I reached for the bedazzling sea,
To the lustrous and splendid heaven,
But then I was bleary.

I went back in my disconsolate bed.
I glanced finally to the lucid ocean,
Then I perceived the quotidian,
A discernibly sheeny spot.
I felt it with the slightest touch.
Then I was back to my senses.

I sighed deeply and questioned,
Was that a dream on a sleepless night?

I should have told you but I didn't do.
I kept my senses closed and unseen,
Though I see with clearest glasses,
But I just said ambiguous thoughts.
The thoughts I treasured in these four corners.
The choice of listening than talking,
The choice that taught me a lot.
All the disguise and secrets of life,
All from others' perspective.
Though numerous I learned,
Owns thoughts were forbidden.
Nothing for the world to know,
Nothing for one to realize.

I should have told you but I didn't do
From the stentorian shouts of my ego,
To the clamorous whispers of my heart.
The tectonic regret of my whole being.

I hollered silence as I said to my self,
*I should have told you but I didn't do.