I want you to fall in love with me but I don't want you to drown.
I want you to pick me but not for these reasons.
I need to feel full but you can never do that for me because I won't let you.
I am a trap you want to fall in.
I show you I know my place by not missing you.
I don't really want what she has because I like running too much to stay.
I am the antique you can't afford to acquire.
I am an uneven chair you choose to sit in.

It's 2:46
Correction, 2:47
And yet the only thing
On my mind
Is that crooked smile of yours
And those glassy eyes
And your ******* ability to take over all my thoughts
For hours at a time
Or more likely, you never left my mind
You are never alone
You are always with me
In my heart
On my mind
Dear God, you are running through my veins
But I know
I know I am not the type of person anyone falls in love with
And I know people like me do not have happy endings, with people like you
And I know this world could be an optical illusion and we could all be figments of a wicked authors imagination who made me feel like I had a chance of happiness
And maybe God is as real as the next notion that rolls along
But I know this that I feel for you is real and it is more real than anything I've felt in all my years of being stone cold numb
And going back, maybe we were all created in a large boom in the clouds
But as long as I am under the same sky as the person who taught me how to spell 'love'  with the idea of real, I will always be open to any theories about how the moon waits for the sun, and how the wolf howls as it sees two star-crossed lovers;longing.
Long is what I would wait for. But it hurts. But darling, I want you to be happy.
Even if it means that your happiness isn't from a large boom in the clouds I made for you.

She was with him and he with her,
Like parallel lines, they really were.
One loved the other but couldn't tell,
Likes they were, but they could not repel.

Curious they were about each other,
Like when a child sees another.
Strongly anxious yet hesitant,
Innocent it was, something prevalent.

It was special, that exact moment.
Better than love or any sort of romance.
Friends they were and they loved each other,
He looked at her, like he looked into the mirror.

What's the point
In wasting time and wasting ink
When I can't verbalise the thoughts I think?

That night with you,
I learned the secret of it all.
The secret of love and how to fall.

In case you wonder
How you ever will know,
Spend time in silence and love should grow.

For we shared a glance,
A glance that pitifully pleaded.
And with that we knew that no words were needed.

I was moved to a bigger house
a wider scope for life
there were flowers and a breeze so cold I would often shiver
but there was smiling
and a place of worship I would sit in alone
when I was wishing for castles or a home I would be proud of
but often I would hear words falling from the ceiling

the kind that made me feel how the breeze did
it did not feel like home
how could it
when the words made me feel so small

when i was 13 my eyes were opened
I saw a home like no other
it was a dark alley in a world of chance
but I couldn't breathe
I would sit by the windowsill and dream of something better
I could settle for a nice cabin
a place to lay my head every night
before I tucked into sheets
no place of worship
but at the magic hour I would wish to be taken away..

at 14
my breath was.
I saw a home like no other
she walked down the hallway and into my mind
it was then I realised home was not a place
it was a person
and mine existed close to me
she smelled of cologne and I would burn if I got to close
she was a place I could lay my head
I need not stay in a castle for the glimmer in eyes, was a state I'd like to live in forever
her hands were gold shelves I would run my fingers over
and often I would still shiver at the thought of losing her.


I had found her
She had a beauty that was God sent
and I've never felt like I settled
because everyday was an adventure and brought me one step closer
to that White Castle in the sky.