this feeling is not
symbiotic: you reduce
my core to nothing

Wars will never end,
Mistrust reigns everywhere,
Simple folks just die.

I am not asking you to heal me, darling
I need to do that myself

But if you'll wait patiently while I do, I'll help heal you too

It may look like I'm silent
But don't let it fool you
I'm holding back the will
To say that I love you

“Why are you alive”
“You don’t deserve this”
“They would be better off without you”
“Leave and don’t come back”
“Push everyone away”

I exist
Therefore I am
In this world
However
Am I living
Or just treading water
Avoiding negativity
Hiding from
confrontation
Am I separate
Disconnected
From the world

I exist
But do I live fully
In each moment
Or just go through
Each day
Almost robotic
In movement
I’ve lost my joy
Of life
I find solace
In peace and quiet
I exist
But do not live

ah canna mind
the Spring in bloom
the buzzin o' hospital lights
the midwife's panicked rushin'
ti bring air inta ma lungs
or ma polymer palace in beige


ah canna mind
ma mither's greetin', when light
wis still entwined wi her form, before
colour drained fae her perceptions
or the shade o' the devil whit took it


ah canna mind the ald grey hoose
on a cracked black road in the schemes
or the wid paneled livin' room
an' stickin' ti dark leather
dreams planted neatly doon the side.

a ravening intensity wants an

ongoing plane after peak experience.

there's a lopsidedness that slinks off

what evenly secures bliss.

this faithful deformity starts to show

up earlier & earlier--before arriving.

thru the inevitable dread of what it

will throw off.