when i came in she was hung from the ceiling.
her arms and legs were practically torn from her torso,
hanging on by ****** threads.
i thought there would be more blood.
i thought she would cry out in pain.
but she hung there frozen.

her eyes darted left and right in their sockets,
mouth rapidly opening and closing with raspy breaths.
her exposed lungs expand shakily.
screaming and crying.
screaming and crying.
at the touch her shredded flesh is tough from the temperature.

pulling her down is a lost cause,
my hands already frostbitten just from the first touch.
feeling like i'll never feel warm again.
but ill claw at her icy remains until i can no longer breathe.
and i'm running out of breathe.
i can't keep heavy this frozen air.

leaving a trail of broken childhood memories
and a colossal amount of trauma
its not my fault that the door is broken
or that my mirrors are broken
it's pathetic- no she's pathetic
she's constantly tripping on her power
not even able hold the weight of her own sword
and every swing she takes at me
i can see her brace for impact
but how long will it be before she breaks?
it's not my fault that her tongue is twisted
and all distorted like her mind
she always taught me that when there's too much to chew
all you can do is swallow yourself and anyone around you
she's swallowed my confidence,
she's swallowed my sanity,
and all that i am left with is the guilt of it being my own fault
she has too much power over me
and it crushes me

i spend all day just trying to take my first breath.

the candle light cooks flesh
leaving it golden
the dark tries to take away
what means the most to me
but at least we still have the stars
and the candle that cooks your flesh

lay down
back down
apologies can't save us now
i can’t go back now
i've seen too much
i've learned too much
i've loved too much

sinking into the cold deep sea
i'm met with a warm crinkle of light
the candle cooks flesh
leaving it golden
you've hitched yourself for my greatest fear
my greatest creation
and yet even as i **** you little by little
you still ask me

and after youre done
will you hate me
will you leave me
will i be left thinking
it was my fault
that you chopped yourself up
and served yourself

i'm sorry
i just want to love you
from the inside out

"completely besotted,"
that seems like a good fit.
i want to look at you,
like nobody has looked at you before.
every inch of your skin is smooth and
it's so strong.
like stone.
you're aphrodite, in flesh,
and in stone.
you're absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful.
just the sight of you makes me, pulchritudinous.
and i am devastated.
i am devastated
that i can't fall asleep with you,
wake up finding you right where i left you.

i'm made of something stronger.
i may not be a saint,
but I am mighty.

i do not fear you.

sometimes.
sometimes if i think hard enough,
i can see her.
i can see her in my room,
i can feel her lips on my neck,
and her hands on my waist.

haven is my mother,
making my family tree.
are you writing?
you can always fix it later.
i'm alright, stop.
maybe if i turn on the lights
i won't be so confused.
its purple, but i pretend it's red.
because i slaughter.
i come for hades.
and every time I think of you,
i don't like it.
who the **** chooses the name kraig?

hes tall
hes much taller than me
and my mind is at war with itself
the male body is so very beautiful
i think it looks stunning
he looks ancient and stone
but not at all old
he looks like he is made fun of by his mother
and her mother
he has no mother
so much rage
i hate her
his eyes are so sad
i want him to laugh why can't he laugh
i want to be his mother
i want to be small in his arms
but i'm trapped
i'm broken alone
he's not true
i don't think hes true
so i take the form
and i love the form
equally to the other
and i cherish the other form
for it is forever etched into my mind
the taste of her body
the smell of her crown
he wears a much bigger crown
yet i want them both
and i want power
i want the crown

if what they say is true
then ill be the man at the end of the gate
not the all powerful one
just the one for the feared
i'll wear the crown
because i want to
but forgive me for saying
i'd rather burn this sphere
and everything that i've got
before i ever enter that horrid place
i'm afraid of angels
they're not natural
they're contorted
distorted
i'm afraid of angels

stop it
just stop
please stop talking
i'm tired of talking about this
i'm tired of your excuses
listen to me
listen to me
stop talking
stop talking please
i'm trying so hard
please
stop
talking
why won't you ever listen to me
you push me this far
you push me so far
you push me
you put me here
and you can't take it back

her nose is a perfect shape
the kind that points perfectly out
and is perfectly straight
her eyebrows are short
as if somebody took a razor and shaved them off
leaving only a few strand by the bridge
her eyes are cloudy
not particularly sultry, yet unexplainably seductive
her lips are the type you see in old movies
with the upper lip all pointed
and the lower over lined and round
she's got tons of scars but i can't see them
and it's not because i'm not looking hard enough
trust me i am
its because every time i look at her
all i see is her
that's why her features are so hard to describe
she's so familiar to me
her face looks like
her face
her body resembles that of the gods
she's picture perfect
the way she lies there
my god I could look at her forever
I could hold her forever
she is the epitome of grace
the epitome of excitement
and above all

i would rather dig to the foreign mountains
of which are cursed by the masses
of being unholy and rustic
than ever rise to the mirror
because i know it is horrific
and i do not see the beauty
i see the fear
i see
the beauty

it's like feeling eyes on me at all times
like angels tracing my moves
four heads turning my way
i can't move
they'll catch on
i'm held beneath my own breath
not a sound
no release
i can't get up
just to pass on the baton
just to trace the angelic figure
but i don't move there
i can't move there
i can't be seen
heard
eyes all around
limbs straight
watching me lord
there is no lord

slip off your black covers
gaze into my eyes please
take all of my breath if it means anything
look in my eyes please
see my eyes
look at my eyes
why is nobody looking in my eyes
i don't want to fell it
i want to skip back in time
slip it on once again
use it to mask what i've not lost
will you hurt me if i lied?
will she hurt me for my lies?
did i lie to you?
what's true?
i've lied into my own eyes
can people see my lies in my eyes?
is it obvious?
look in my eyes
please look at my lies
tell me it's alright
slip off the black cover and discover my lie
it's alright?
isn't it?
if i slip up
and reach up your battered armour
will i find that you've lied just the same as i
will i find that nobody had touched you
you didn't lie.
you're real.
i'm fake.
i'm flustered and foggy
i can't find myself
im nobody but myself
comparing russians to my own
hoping to pick up some *****
hoping for ***** and good looks
and *** on a balcony
but nobody hears a sound
like tongues and snakes
and drinks and the adhesive that pours
pours from my heart of lies
look into my eyes
and don't look down
only in my eyes and don't think too hard
about the crimson tide that smells like lies
and looks like lonely fog
just like my eyes
please gaze into my eyes
we both have the look of glaze
yet mine is from fear
and yours can only be pinned
to a red flushed face and a broken bottle
and my broken heart
but at least in my eyes
i can't tell any lies
and if i do tell lies
and you see my lies
will you leave me in your own sick face
in my ugly face
will you break the bottle twice
will you break my legs and break my heart
look into my eyes please
maybe then you can see that
my lies are everywhere
all over my skin
in my body there is nothing
dead end
no leads
a trace of nothing
those are my lies
i'm boring
just like my eyes