Its funny
How one person can ruin your life.
how one person can make you feel so small
Its funny
How no matter how hard you try not to let them,
How they are ****** to **** up your day.
Its also funny
How fake people can be.
How they hold up a paper mask,
But only the oppressed can see the stick.
Its funny how one can inflict such pain, both physically and mentally.
Its funny how they can **** us,
Make us feel like *******
And cowards.
Its funny
How, the ***** they are, think that they are so funny

but
It will be funny
*when the tables turn

I’m breathing but barely, why don’t you leave me alone.
Can’t you see when we were together I was suffocating.
You told me I wasn’t good enough for you, you told me to change so I did.
I stopped seeing my friends and I stopped talking to my family.
You held me down and told me I wasn’t worth your time
You broke up with me 20 times, coming back every time saying you were sorry.

I had a picture in my head of how my family was supposed to look like.
Smiling faces.
My parents getting along.
No screaming.
I’m not sure why I thought that my family would be happy, funny and have a good life.
I learned early on that this wasn’t the case, I’m afraid to grow up and have a marriage that ends, have screaming in the house and have my kids wishing they could be dead.
Because that’s what my childhood was like.
I’m afraid to have kids, even though people say I’m nothing like my parents, people think I will be a good mother.
How can I be a good mom when I didn’t have one myself?
Don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming my mom, she did the best she could.

When...
It first started.
I got to admit.
i was scared
I didnt know what i was doing.
In fact
I didnt know who i was
Who i belonged with.
I was lost
I continued to wander in self realization.
But you came.
I was already crushing ******* you.
I didnt know a thing about you
but
I liked your lips.
I liked your eyes
I liked your voice
I liked your hair
I liked the way you carried yourself.
I liked everything i saw about you.
And then
I found out
You
Liked me too.
*******-****.
****.
Now i was super scared.
Supernova inside my heart.
I didnt want to **** anything up.
But then
you asked me
And here we are.
Today
Tomorrow
forever
...
**who the **** says magic doesnt exist?!?!

I like singing in the shower, can you hear me?
I will sing to you if you want.
Maybe after we can lay in my bed, I want to know about you.
Tell me all of your hopes and dreams.
Tell me your favorite color, mines green.
How many girls hearts have you broken?
The hours pass and I feel like I have known you for years.

Hey,
It’s been a while since I wrote a letter to you.
I’m sad right now and this makes me feel closer to you.
I checked your Facebook, it seems like you’re doing ok.
I heard you have a daughter now, she looks beautiful.  
I sent you a message will you answer me please.
I’m sorry I hurt you Jake.
It’s been 5 years since we saw each other last.
You post old pictures of us but you didn’t post any of us this year on your page.
I have to live with my mistake every day of my life, please don’t hate.
I’m sorry I love you, you will always be my big brother.

Lucy
Oh sweet lucy.
You are so kind.
You always listen to me
You look at me
With your kind eyes.
So gentle.
I love you, my little puppy.
My baby.
Im sorry you have to live with my dad
But as long as we live together we will protect eachother.
I know i can count on you.
Each time i come home,
And your little tail wiggles,
It warms me
I love it when you give me hugs.
You are just the cutest thing
We get to watch each other  grow up
And im proud to be your daddy

It’s 4 o clock and I’m still sleeping, I might sleep the whole day.
But I don’t, I rub my eyes and lay in my bed.
I think about my mom; I try to remember a time when we got along.
I try to remember good memories.
I remember the first time you said you loved me.
I remember my first love.
Happy days.
Rainbows.
Smiles.
Love.
I can’t remember when that all went away, I can’t remember when I started becoming sad.
I stay home now because I get nervous when I go outside.
I stay up all night and sleep during the day.
Knifes.
Razors.
Black clothes.
I’m tired, leave me alone.
I’m fine really, lie.
The cat scratched me, that’s where those cuts came from.
No one cares.
I’m sorry I’m not the happy girl anymore.

I need to hear from you.
I just might die.
Cuz babe,
Im in love with you.
I need to hug you so tight
Cuz babe
Im in love with you.
I need you like the earth needs the moon
Baby,
I love everything about you.
You talk so sweet and
I cant stop thinking about you.
You are fresh beginings
Spurring the heat
The coolness
All combined.
Im in love with you.
I really am.
You are everything.
I know you are insecure
But baby
You are perfection
And i mean it.
I know you want to be adored
And baby
I adore you more than my life.
You are my best friend
You are my lover
You are my all.
Some day
I want to marry you.
Have a family
And be so happy.
My Queen,
Tell me
Are you just as in love?
Cuz babe
*im in love with you

I have never stuttered in pen
misspoken in ink
or choked in my writing
the way I do
whenever I speak
my fingertips always know
the right words to say
my tongue is still learning