if life was a game of chess
i would make you play the white pieces
because i am terrified to move first.

if your bed was an ocean
i would drown in my emotions while lying there
because i never learned how to swim.

if life was a playground
i would leave blood and skin on the pavement
because i fell for you.

if your bed was a graveyard
i would have my epitaph engraved on your headboard.

We use to wreak havoc together
At a small little school
With characters and phrases
Making the teacher look like a tool

Our Chinese school was hell
But ever Saturday we still went
Our partnership was one of destruction
Causing even the principal to vent

We sat at the back of the class
While all the proper students sat at the front
Determination in their eyes
Asian tiger parents forcing them to survive

While ours were much the same
Except a little more lenient
We passed everything so good enough
Our ways more devious

A team effort it was
We all passed with flying colours
Not without full blow hatred from others
Though we weren't bothered

And years have past us by
No longer do we speak
At most we have a snap record
But we only ever sent streaks

Though your basic asian look
closely matching with mine
except for you being a guy
and having black pitched eyes

We were close once before
We were a childish endeavour
Now reduced to nothing
Without a single word ever

And write as I will
About that old forgotten letter
and the missing you with my heart
but I can't get any better

As my will to talk to you is broke
I'm scared of the words I once spoke
With the shattered picture frame on the floor
I dare not defy those laws

Until you flash by my life again
For a moment, for a single memory or sight
I'll remember you in my heart
As meaningless as that is
For you will never know

I'll miss you forever
My little Troublemaker
Be happy and stay safe

The tragedy is
there's a prison in my mind
all the thoughts that lurk there
are ones I wish were never mine
they etch into my heart
the scars I wear so bright

They whisper wicked stories
of things that never happened
or maybe things that did
things that shouldn't create ripples
in the current in my life
but here I lay in bed
stuck awake at night
eyes cutting blankly
through the nothingness of my cold and dark bedroom

My heart pounds eagerly
Awaiting the outcomes of the morrow
What is awaiting me
Love, hatred or sorrow?

Fear and anticipation
All wrapped into one
Securely tied with a ribbon
Now we wait for the sun

Marching on to the time
Allowing fate to lead the way
My heartbeat is all I can hear
Let's see what's awaiting me today.

Today
I decided to write a poem
To put words together
In such a way
As to express
My innermost feelings

And I lost the words
And my thoughts drifted
And my computer keys stuck
And nothing came forward

So
Perhaps tomorrow
I will write a poem
To express my life
And for today
Perhaps
I’ll just go
Outside
To play

There’s a sudden chill in the air
The darkness looms, heavy
My skin tingles in fear
My forehead spikes in perspiration
The ghost hovers in my corner
My past is here to haunt me