It's becoming easier
to picture myself
with someone better
even if it's just me

-loneliness doesn't scare me

Daughter of Akkedian blood
There has long since
Been venom on my tongue
And fire in my veins
From curses of generations
Far from mine
From blood spilling
Into pure Euphrates river
Tainting the bodies of water
That birthed me into this world

Some days I lay in bed
While an assemblage
Of ancestors
Parade their way
Through my rib cage
Shaking my bones
Stampeding their way
Over my heart
In attempts to break through
The barricades I've set
In front of them

There are graveyards
Of decaying bones
And one great grave
Where there once
Was a stone
And both
Have made sacrifices
Of blood
On my behalf
One from hatred
The other from love

And I know my choice
     but still the battle goes on

"You have her smile"
"you look the same
but you're so different"

Hollow me out
Scoop me into
A shell of my sister

sliding into shoes
I am both too small
and too quiet to fill

Meek mouse playing house
In the home
Of a lion

Always a reflection
Never the real thing
Always just a copy

A two dimensional figure
Of a figure that I
Can never become

We are so different
Contrasting opposites
Divergent

As in everything
That she ever was
Is unobtainable to me

Steadfast lighthouse
And I am the shadow
The sun casts behind it

So when I stare
Into that mirror
All I've ever seen

Was a reflection
Of a reflection

Looking back at me

There is still broken glass
Trying to pass it's way
through my bloodstream

Years ago
your words shattered
my stain glass heart
and ever since
it has been drifting
through my body
scraping against my insecurities
and letting them seep through
into my subconscious

your egotistic chaos
still torments me
long after you've been gone

and I'm still wondering  
How to put myself back together

you turned me into a flower
beautiful to hold
and easy to cut down

spun my silk skin
into a blanket
just to keep you warm

set me on fire
just to watch me burn
left me ash and rubble

but I came out
phoenix and scarlet beauty
I came out
steel and armor heart

   - Try to break me now

My body is a vacant space.
I am the sole care taker
But I am an unwelcome visitor.
It seems like visitors
Are the only thing this body can house
No one ever stays long enough
To make it a home

There was a time where this body
Was a home, my home
But since then
Insecurities have kicked me out
Changed all the locks
And left me for dead

I wake up every morning
Next to this body
Desperate to find a way back inside
I fear I will one day
Whither away to nothing
And all that will be left behind
Is an abandoned shell

Where I once called home..