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OUTSIDE THE OUTSIDE

There was no outside.

There was only
this room.

Only this moment
as if

the world had tiptoed away
into the dusk

leaving this room
floating in space

in the nothing
Time too it seemed

had gone.

She reached for
the razor blade.
can a man love a woman,
but not want to do anything about it?
wish me away.
Wish that i would go back to where I came from.
Demote my existence.
Do not pay any attention to my pain.
Mock me with everything I say,
act like a child,
and cause me more pain then my body could handle.
Take me to the lowest parts of my mind,
yes,
make me feel inhuman.
Make me feel ******,
don't let me remind myself of my existence.
Say no to everything I ask,
and keep me in my room until I forget what the house looks like.
Give me all the responsibilities that way you have none,
and that way it is MY fault if something goes under.
Yes,
oh please make sure my family hates me.
Tell them lies about me,
making them cringe at the sight of my face.
Make me cry so hard that my head feels as it has been crushed.
Make sure I suffer in the hot sun,
and tell me it isn't okay to be happy.
Tell me that people never want to see me again,
and cover yourself up in the lie.
Don't forget to hit me with a cutting board,
and please break plastic spoons on my ***.
Make sure I see the corner as an enemy,
and the door as a murderer.
Make the family not understand
just who I am,
and exclaim
"its all his fault!"
I love it when,
my head is smacked.
Soooooo much.
Please make me go without eating
for a good long while.
Make sure,
I cannot go to the bathroom,
Yes I LOVE the thrill.
If you hadn't noticed,
I'm being sarcastic.
I never wanted you to do any of this,
but you did anyways.
I am done being used
like and repost if you agree
No, don't make me go
Many terrors are waiting
To goble me whole
Waiting for your messages
Knowing you probably already read mine
Fear creeping up my spine
Reloading the page a million times
And once more

Just to be sure
Some people's demons
Look at them through different eyes
Mine stair silently back
From the mirror before me
Paint the walls
Paint the floors
Paint the cracks
Bettween the doors
Paint your love
The prettiest hue
Paint a smile
Just for you
Paint the trees
And paint the roses
Make everything
The color of posies
And while you're at it
Paint the lasses
The ones who dance
And sing of ashes
Paint the town
And paint the world
But leave untouched
One little girl
For if you Paint
All over her
You'll forget about
Who you were
You can change the world around you,  but you should always love you. There are many people who forget that.
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