The only thing that makes me happy is my family.
We may argue everyday but when i'm hurt their my remedy.
They always have my back
especially when i tend to lack.
I might not have the best relationships with them
but i treat each one of them like a gem.
so special and unique in their own ways
and they all glow on cloudy days.
My family is my breath of fresh air
when i need a little guidance, i know that they will always be there.

forgive, forget
i don't want to do that yet
i forgave you, might you forget
but you did the same thing and had no regrets.
if you were sorry why would you do it again?
i was hurt that you decided to pretend.

Heritage is a big part of everyone's lives,
My heritage i used to hide like a disguise.
I was always ashamed of being Hispanic,
having good hair and good skin,
I never looked at myself and loved what was within.
I was ashamed of my last name that belonged to my father who left,
see, that's the Hispanic way causing me so much stress.
I look up to my mother who has always been there,
She didn't need no man to succeed.
I wanted to be like my mom so bad, a true Hispanic queen.

love is just a word with many meanings.
I can say i love you but not really mean it.
the word love can be very misleading.
A four letter word, yet has the power to be deceiving.
its a shame how many times i felt "love",
yet to look back and realize it wasn't really love, it was me trying to find someone to love because i couldn't love myself.
I have tried so hard just to get hurt over and over again.
Everyone i was hurt by, i claimed that i loved.
Love makes you do crazy things they said.
But what is this "love" they are talking about, where can i find it?
The only "love" that i experienced was the love that was hiding.

I wake up to the morning sun,
with only the thought of him.
what did i do to deserve this?
why are we only friends?
You told me you weren't ready for anything more.
When i finally moved on, that option left the door.
I know it sounds crazy that i could actually care for you,
but you meant a lot to me so i couldn't stand for it.
I try to make "us" work even though there was no "us".
you didn't put a label on it so now you see why i would fuss.
imagine if i would want you because i was just bored,
How would that make you feel, because it made me sore.
Of course i tried to move on with someone else, but when i saw you with her my whole heart just fell.
If only i could delete the thought of you in my life,
i could really move on and everything would feel right.

If i stand tall,
Would you try to break me?
If i said i wouldn't,
would you try to make me?
these are the questions i ask myself
questions i implore so i don't feel like a book on a shelf.