Thunder
Rain
Alone
At home
Thoughts
Of death
Knife
Unsteady
No more
Of this
Empty world
Knife
On wrist
Knock
On the door
A voice
No. Focus.
Tears
Knock
'Open up'
Knife
Now steady
Ready
Slit
Tears
Smile
Blur
Collapse
Blood
Knock
Blur
Glas­s shatters
A voice
'No!'
Darkness
Engulfing
Too late

There are things
You didn't want me to do
Things you said
Would break me
But how could I stop
This aching heart
From craving
So I did them anyhow
And I'm not ashamed
I have no remorse
If I made mistakes
They're mine
For I'm not your shadow
Hiding behind you
Recoiling from the light
That you let through
For I'm not your puppet
You don't hold my strings
To bend me the way you want
Turning pages in my life
As you would have
For I'm not your reflection
Showing you only
That what you wish to see
What you couldn't be in me
For I'm not your clay
Moulded at your hands
Shaped into your dreams
Trimmed to remove
The imperfections that define me
For I'm not you
In all your goodness
However hard you try
I'm not you
*For I am me

Afterlife, a reflection of soul?
A gap we slip through
When membranes between layers unfold us
To Zero Point;
Touching consciousness absolute

The womb we go back to
Where dark does not hurt our higher selves
The first seed rooted
In Living Light
Growing with original vibration
The first sound
AUM

Acoustic Universal Mantra
Waveforms...
Existing in the space between colors
Blending with all that occupies.
A passage through an enigma
Spanning epchos of luminous flux

Patterns of conscious light,
we emerged from the Void
From fractals of an eternal soul
A Universal breath
Fuse us with flesh;
Divine ballads in Golden Mean

He was dancing between forces of light and darkness.
His eyes celebrated journey of sun in the sky
looking in it for ancient knowledge
invoking light and fire of all stars
praying to divine source of goodness
pretending to be white lunar light.
He told me' You must be light to give light,
fire to give fire in this dark world.
All living matter belongs to light.
All living matter is thought of God.'
I needed him as I need breath to live and die,
as astrology influence of stars and planets
as east west to embrace direction
as plants cosmic rays to exist
as body cells Infinite Intelligence to guide
as child womb to grow .
I guess he has good heart underneath
worthy miracles come to him
even if he appears to me like black moon
hungry for light to experience pure moments.
He called me Venus, Isthar.
I called him hidden mystery of universe.
We both spoke soul to soul
with codex of love
and sacredness of spirits.
I was Divine Godess filled
with smell of white roses
illuminating his mind.
When night came
he loved me with power of Gods
embracing my crown between stars.
Showing me constellations and moon
he became almighty Creator
giving brigtness of all of cosmic creation to me.
My mother told me
'Choose your man wisely.'
But what is wisely
doesn't come from heart.
He was first man
who didn't break my heart
and shattered my dreams.
I choosed him following my heart
and voice residing between my heart,
fate and God's inspirations.
When he looked in my eyes he told me
'Vision of God is clear to me.
Loving you I am one with His light.
You gave me eyes of God.
I am godlike, goddess like
I am His wings of Love above all
Existing only for you and our love.
I am prayer of your heart.'
Angels created intimacy and ecstasy
between our bodies and worlds.
Sacrifice, sweetness was my gift to him.
'Guiding lantern of my heart' he called me.
Holding his head in my arms close to chest
I was morning and evening star glorifying law of love .
He was guardian Angel of my day and nights
rebirth of my soul to escape death
music and poems of my longings
force of attraction between our hearts.
It was romance of souls and minds,
body to body, spirit to spirit
intimacy of clouds carrying our hearts
close to Mars,
closeness of bodies, kiss of breaths
unity of flames, memory of Eden.
My mother told me 'Choose your man wisely.'
All I know heart is wiser than mind.
Listen your inner voice
blood, veins and cells
God's whispers of intuition
and you will find the one.
This love is return to Source,
fullfilment of human emptiness
not caring for pride, humanity.
It's nakedness of souls
celebrating acts of closeness
not looking for any other lover
not knowing beginning and end
of falling in love and being in love.
'Let his fires and silence burn you.'
pure passion whispered.
I choosed wisely.
Soul to soul.
Heart to heart.
Fire to fire.
God making two one.

The easiest thing
Is to live a lie
Slowly tempting your body and soul to an event horizon which has no escape here
Its the easiest thing
Done by a broken heart
When it is lied to
Always remembering each goodbye and moments of affection piercing through
A list of melancholic ways to die
Staggering your brain
Inviting you to dance and sing
For when you lose home
And when you lose hope
Its easier to live a lie

Silver
A crooked back beneath
An epiphany
Of scars and the toil
Of generations
Dancing through the veil
Of destruction

Shiver
A pedestal behind
The curtains of dark embodiments
The tragedy of life
Of generations
Dancing through the veil
Of destruction

Moonlight
The bleeding death of a collapse
Unending
Silent
Misdemeanor finally revealed
Dancing through the veil
Of destruction

Slender and tenuous reasons
Run through the droplets of motive
Which impel us in our actions
Direct us to  our self-fulfilling fates
Our cleverly devised mistakes
For we each bear the scars
Of our own fatal flaws
Victims of our own design
As I have been of mine
Haven't you?

I am the saboteur of my dreams
Picking at the seams
Of a braver me
A wiser and unlikelier me
All my tendencies and traits
Conspire and defeat me
To subtly beat me
About my empty head
With every word I've said
Every thought I've had
And that's why

                       By Phil Roberts