she thinks i should take pills
swallow these capsules
meant to fill my 'chemical imbalance'

i hate taking pills
giving up the control
proving i can't fix myself

keep your **** pills
i can break through this
the mind can be overpowered

......right?

Today
I decided to swallow
my pills all at once.
But mom told me
No,
You'll choke and die,
So I took them
one
by
one.

I guess I should've listened
when everyone told me that
people aren't medicine,
but ****,
I thought you were my cure.

You were better than any pills I could take to my my head stop pounding and my eyes a little heavier. You were better than homemade soup and backrubs and damp washcloths on my forehead. You were so much better than the chemicals, so I got addicted to you instead. But you have no warning label, and I must have overdosed, because people can't be medicine but you can die if they poison your bloodstream.

He carried burden in his little bones
Since the day he first arrived.

His legs would spasm and fail him
In mid run; he always insisted
That he just didn't tie his shoes well.

His arms would always lock at the joints
As he slept; he always just told me
That he was tucked in too tight before bed.

His hands would go numb and he'd
Grip a glass cup too tight; shards splintered
His small palms, but he said it was fine,

And that he was so very sorry.

The smallest coffins are the heaviest,
And I could have swore I heard him
Say he was sorry as I carried

It out in the rain.

A hospital isn't a home
There's no room for emotions - and no space to cry
A hospital isn't a home
There's no hugs and kisses - and no one knows why

A hospital isn't a home
And does anyone really care
A hospital isn't a home
But I can't be anywhere but here

My fight has lasted far too long,
and I simply cannot go any further.
This disease has taken all I have,
yet the doctors say I can't be helped.
So here's to giving up,
and here's to lying down.
This world is a cruel place,
but I may not be here long.
So if tomorrow I do not wake,
I pray the lord my soul to take.