Inhale
Holding the smoke captive in my lungs
Soon it escapes my lips and runs wild in air
It dances in the moonlight
I lay my head back and watch it run away
Another puff, another escape
Full moon, time to blaze
Memories of you flood in
Your touch is like razor blades kissing my skin
Scars to forever remind me of all my sins
Exhale,
Then breathe in
I keep letting my demons win
Inhale
It's starting to kick in
Just like the clouds pouring from my mouth
I fade into the night
With a blink of an eye
Exhale
Goodbye

Kicking the rusty leaves
crumpled by the tree
seeds and twigs broken off
golden and free.
Polished conkers rest
waiting to be smashed
strung up with string
bruised, soaked and bashed.
Russet apples wither in the sun
pecked at by robins and wrens.
Purple clover gather in the distance
on the hills and glens.
Pears drip from branches
like water from a wooden tap.
Twigs point like a human finger
showing the way to follow a map.
Through the ochre wood and
across the sienna fields.
The gathered sticky corn
piled high that the farmer yields
The Autumn season is pure gold
Raspberry sunset and peach skies.
A woodpecker perches, waits awhile
In the Autumn air then off he flies.

I texted you and asked what you were doing later tonight
You said shooting yourself
I didn't know what to say so I began to explain how after you left I started to drag the razor across my skin again
How I started to break again
How all I really needed was a friend
I say, "even though your a ******* people still care about you"
He hasn't opened it
And I can't sleep
Everyone said he should be dead to me
But not literally
I know I washed my sheets from the last time you were in my bed
But pieces of you still linger
Especially in my head
I'll sleep on the side you always stayed on
Maybe ill dream of your embrace
Or maybe I'll dream of our disgrace
Fire spitting high school drop out
Please don't cop out
Don't do this tonight
Please put up a fight
I know after you hurt me I shouldn't say this
But I want you in my life

They say pain
Changes people
And I just haven't
Been the same since

My eyes are too big
I am one with the desserts
Now I must digest

chain smoking cigarettes
you haven't replied to any of my texts
looking me in the eye with no regrets
you talk like we just met
smoke fills your lungs
you complain like you're so drunk
there is something in your eyes
everytime i look a piece of me dies
im so far gone my only choice is too survive