soft
peach tones
blushing

yellow
fading orange
fading pink
rosé

warm
and soft
strong

i want to write
but it feels like  the things i want to say are in a another language
that even i can't understand
its not a bad thing
i dont think
just...
strange i guess.

they are eyes that have a special color
the exact color of the ocean in california.

it isn't the same ocean as anywhere else
it's the color of home.

it isn't a color at all really,
more of a feeling.

the feeling of your skin burning
and cool blue-green-grey.

it can't be copied
or drawn or painted.

it is the color
of being
in love.

she is small
and cute
and pretty

she has pretty eyes
california ocean eyes
and rusty blonde hair
pink cheeks
always blushing

she is soft
and warm of heart
she's been hurt
and i want to un-hurt her

she's a friend
i love to talk with her
just to see her smile

everything that you need to be whole
the person that you trust the most
the thing that always makes you smile
easy for you to handle
anything but what i am

because i am not enough for you

i made this week difficult.

i was struggling with myself and i made it hard for you too.
i turned nothing into problems
and blamed those problems for my ****-ups.

i hurt you
and i knew i was hurting you
and i did it anyway.

i said things
and made you sound like the bad guy

but i was a *****.

and im sorry.

a friend
who has a secret
a crush
she won't tell me
I am betrayed
it is someone
tallish
brown hair and eyes
who I may
or may not know