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Olivia Daniels Jul 2018
I'd say:
**** 'em
but that's not my character.

My character is to worry
and overthink
about things out of my hands and up to
Fate.

Fate is a funny thing;
it's cruel
but also caring - at times
and I guess we weren't meant to be,

'Meant to be' is a
construct
anyways. Is there really
only one person out there
that you're fated to be with?
'Cause I find it hard to believe

Hard to believe like
you and I
were 'meant to be'. Fated
to cross paths and fall in love
at least I think it was love-
but who really knows?
Maybe that's why I'm indifferent

I'm indifferent because- while
for me it really was love
my first everything- you
said it too easily. And
love is never easy
it's messy like;
well...
Fate or 'meant to be'.
There's really nothing I can do

Nothing I can do to fix this
roller-coaster disaster on steroids,
but that's over exaggerating,
'cause I don't know why
but I'm ok;
with Fate dividing us. Since we weren't
'meant to be' in this
mess, love. And that's fine,
it's ok.
Now you're too far away

Too far away both metaphorically
and literally. There's
a gap
that's impossible to cross
without Fate there to back us up
when we've gone over that ledge
and crossed that line. We aren't
meant to be- to go back
is impossible like love. So
I hope you're ok, are you fine? I
don't want to hurt you
but
there's no fixing this.
Without making it worse.

So I bide my time

fate says
we aren't 'meant to be'
love is too complicated
so i'm indifferent- to protect myself from
the pain that comes with my inability to do anything to
bridge the metaphorical and literal gap between us

So I bide my time
another poem about me coping with my failing relationship. Sorry it's been so dark lately guys
Olivia Daniels Jun 2018
Snap to
a snapshot of
that time I balanced on the curb
                   balanced between
                                          the sidewalk and the street

step after step
foot in front of the other
my hands out to each side
                         to distribute the weight of
   the burden on my shoulders weighing
lightly.
Surprisingly light,
my understanding was that it's usually
                      heavy.
Just not this time.

                                         The sidewalk and the street,
both perfectly distinct
         perfectly indifferent.
At times teetering
                swaying
                      for different reasons
as they present themselves.

  I'm perfectly contented
                   balancing on that curb.
At times I wish to walk
                           on either the sidewalk or the street
           one over the other.
And I'm greeted with
                                 either a honk or a fire hydrant.

A minor nuisance
An obstacle or action
that leaves me bitter
that renders me flushed with red.
           So I hop back on the curb
not rife with anger or sadness
                   but indifference

While it may be easy to pick
                                          the sidewalk or the street
the choice shouldn't consume you
                                 leave the curb to divide
follow where it takes you
a weird statement-esque metaphor for my impossible to explain indifference toward my failing relationship
Olivia Daniels Jun 2018
it's...
complicated

I'm not stupid
I know that we
are as good as over.
So it would seem...

from all the "left on read"
                                  the "you never text me first"

it's as good as over.
So it would seem...

and it's been over a week
since I've heard from you last.


Now here's what's really
****** Up

after all the ****
we've been through-
NO-
you've put me through-

I'm Still Not Ready
To Give You Up

now explain that...
Olivia Daniels Jun 2018
You clearly
don't give a **** about me.

So why
do I give a **** about you?


Your intentions are clear
I'm so done with all the *******
  Jun 2018 Olivia Daniels
Sky
We all hate life so much,
but we're too scared to die
So we turn ourselves into ghosts instead.
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