textbook-romance;
one-sided and sickly
sweet i'd take you
into town and tell
you all the places
i've fallen and every
time i've ran from
the cops (read:- security
guys in neon shirts)
if you'd let me,,
and i'll doodle on
the margins of your
notebook and we can be
fawning-gushing high
school lovebirds until
i get sick of you just
like everybody else.

i am self-destruct i do
not care at all i am so
sick of this.

every day is a vigil
on being who i am not,
on existing where i don't
feel like i belong and
every word is a struggle
to get the hell out of
dodge, each line is a
fight.

a monster, they said, is
someone who burns their
ashes on your face and
spits to but them out-
a monster, i said, is
someone who lets you
down.

a monster, i said, is
someone like you and i.

you asked if i trusted
you and my response was
a lie, i can't even trust
myself- you asked me if
i loved you and my response
was a lie- of course i do.

for the first time in a long
time my exhilaration with life
is rekindled, my breaths come
easy again and i will not shut
myself out- for long-

for the first time in all of
time i catch your smile more
than just by chance...

they told me not to pick the
flowers so often if i loved
them, but that's a rule i'll
have to break--

i hope that doesn't stop them
from growing

the morphological differences
between you and i are that
i keep dividing and you keep
swallowing your tongue

not everything in the same skin
goes by the same name

the closest thing to my definition
is that of the drugs you hear about
on the television and how your
sixth grade health teacher feels
about them