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J Sep 26
I love you and I'm sorry
but I feel nothing
maybe you're the right person
in the wrong body
J Aug 22
your presence lingers
not in grand gestures
but in the spaces in between

your smile filling my kitchen
with a warmth that remained
long after the coffee grew cold
and my cup was empty

the place still set for you,
as if you would walk in, sit down,
and make everything
feel a little more whole

the way we spoke on the subway
our words mingling like passengers
clinging to the rails
never quite ready to part ways

the way things look too clean…too still
not just your toothbrush
but the mess you made of my heart
gone

how lovely it was
to have your things scattered among mine
a forgotten sock
your glasses on the nightstand
a sign this space was ours
once

the scent of your shampoo hovers
an echo of you in the quiet
I breathe you in, eyes closed
wishing you were here
to wrap the night around us
turning off the world together
leaving only us
together in the stillness
J Aug 19
The weight of words unsaid
lies heavy in the air between us,
each breath a burden
laden with silence,
a thousand things left unspoken,
and in that stillness,
I know
we're breaking.
To hold on or to let go
J Aug 17
As he stands there
on the edge of surrender
you let the fire spread
let it consume the air between you
until there is nothing but heat
letting him smolder
letting him yearn
until he's nothing
but ash and embers at your feet

until there is nothing
but a man on fire
and a woman who knows exactly
how to make him burn
J Aug 16
He scattered the fragments of their life behind, enticing her to follow.
The constant gnawing emptiness always
left her feeling hollow.

She still strode behind, hand outstretched
her hunger growling for more.
Even though she eats what she’s given
it was rotten to the core.

That toxic heart and what little it gave
Made her mouth fill with bile but salivate.
A starving rat doesn’t want waste
but with time and starvation
it develops a taste.

Anything tastes good
if that’s all you’re ever given.
He pavloved her to accept this life,
her heart has been conditioned.

But the trail runs out
no more love left to leave,
what he had to give was always finite,
finally, reprieve.

You’re done starving,
habits can break  
sit down my love
I’ll make you a plate.

I am so grateful that the crumbs left behind for you ran out, every step you took led you to me. You will never hunger again.
J Aug 12
I look into those night-black eyes
stark against your moon-washed skin,
and realize.

You’re no longer there anymore.
At least not the you I once knew.
You are a stranger in my arms.
There is a shift, so slight but I feel it.
Like a soft creak in the floorboard.
Echoing
in the night.

You use my heart like you used my body. Wringing me out like a rag,
getting every last drop of
love and self respect that you can from me.
You lap it up greedily,
Knowing I always give everything
Until there’s nothing left of me worth having.

But you want me,
or at least want to get the last word in
one more kiss
one more sigh arching into you
You drink me in
your ungrateful eyes
memorizing the lines of my body
deep in the night tonight. 

Like lovers entwined, I know for the last time you will not be mine,
so I give you the night
tonight.
J Jan 7
I am black lace kissed with stardust
You are brilliant, well loved, faded tie-dye
Leaving the smell of campfires, afternoon naps
fresh showers, and sleepy smiles in your wake  
Bonfire flames licking the space between our skin
Heart beat rhythms drive the music
To sway against our heartstrings
Connected.
Summer rain runs down us steaming
Feel your heat getting closer
warming my bones
melting my center
A shiver runs through me
So in tune, I pulse for you
Aching with the distance
That seems to always separate
Our good timing
I never knew quite how cold I was until I met you.
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