every night i shower and brush my teeth and shave and try to look cute in my boy-short ******* and big flannel shirt because every night i hope i'll sneak out to see him
but i don't
and i miss him
and my chest aches

Life is like a home at night, when all are asleep.
The curtains are open, but no light comes through the windows.
The world is beautiful, but the beauty cannot be seen.
Without the light, I feel
Alone
Happy, but incomplete.

Light comes in the form of a rose.
She brings peace, and calm, and
Sweet joyousness.
And with this rose,
With her presence,
I no longer feel lonely.
Instead, I feel
Exhilarated, and whole.

But all roses will eventually wither.
They make those around them despair
As they fade, and take the world's beauty with them.
And with the loss of great beauty,
Comes the loss of great happiness,
And of light.

Life is like a windowless underground room,
With no light at all;
With the weight of the world crushing down,
And no signs of hope.
I am utterly
Alone
And I will never be complete again.

It's 3am and I'm fighting back the memories of you.
But you're breaking through all of my defences.
I just need to feel your touch one last time.
I might be greedy but I miss the nights you were mine.
Darling please.
Why did you leave like that.
Whispers in the hallways saying you would love to have me back....
But nothing.
No phone calls.
No messages.
No letters.
It's 3am and the only way you're with me right now is because my memory can't seem to erase any moment of when we were together.

In the moments before disaster
I fell in love.

He was beautiful,
Why was he so beautiful?

I wanted to hold him close
And make sure he was alright
But in the end I was the one that
Crumbled and he,
Well he was the victor of disaster.

Long brown hair
Foolish eyes
Broken heart
Twisted cries

How the hell am I pretty?

I rely on self destruction as a distraction from real life.

That's not pretty.