My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.

No.

I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
between
dreaming and
mortality

and

I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
involve

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
nightmares,
hazy realities
and

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,
now,


is decide.

We're only made to take so much;
the sand runs out, the hour's up.
For some, one life is not enough
to take advice yet give back love.

Some live to take; their hands are rough,
their blood is blue, their minds are tough.
Though they are humans just like us,
the seat fits two, still they won't budge.

We don't mind though, 'cause we can stand
but they still shoot us off fair land
and laugh and lie and watch us run,
then claim that they're the injured ones.

Drunk on love we couldn't see
that kindness only fuelled their greed.
For lies sleep sound under their tongues
and rot 'til teeth become golden.

Their shadows cast two different shades.
They twist and turn in makeshift shapes.
Feast at my table. Eat my brain.
For after all, we give, you take.

i.

summer, with her golden
light and bluebell valleys
sweeps the senorita skies
and shady groves.

ii.

the sea rushes to the sand,
relentless waves surrender
crashing on the rocks
where the raucous gulls glide.

iii.

the moon-sky of summer’s
warm nights brings sweet dreams
and lavender fields, stars
of slumber, ropes of
gold thread like
embroidered silk.


iv.

the white clouds
woven from the rain
hide the sun which
waits for the blue inks
of a summer sky.

v.

small, the bird
painted
on the sky.

vi.


i am jealous of your legs,
crazy in love with your love,
swept up in your arms
while i wait for you to
claim me as your own.

love me i cry out,
i am yours, i am yours,
forever.

Yesterday
I thought about you.

    I remembered how excited you were
to see me; I remembered
    how happy you were
to see me those years before.
   Life's a little different now
but, that doesn't stop you -
    from reaching out,
letting me know that
    you're still there
and I feel your touch, I swear I do
    even when I know you're not there.
Right now, I'm afraid I'm all alone.
    It feels so different here.
Sometimes it hurts, sometimes too much
    without you being here.

Today
I miss you.