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You
I'm thinking of you
And all the things we didn't do

I'm thinking of you
And all the things we could've done

I'm thinking of you
And all the things we wont be able to do
The touch of comfort
The pleading for comfort
A safer place mentally
A desire to feel the warmth of your lips
A touch of desire by the fire place
I've wondered how long before I reach your hand
The touch from your finger tips
The gestures of love pressed to my lips
I desire you and have yet to still meet you
I can’t seem to name
This feeling

Not hunger—
I had breakfast.
Not fatigue—
I slept a full 8 hours last night.
Not laziness—
PE was today
Not stress—
Exams are over. For now.
Not sadness—
But not happiness either.
Not fear—
My heart beats slow.
Not loneliness—
I’m surrounded by people.
Not guilt—
I’ve done nothing wrong
Not peace—
This fog doesn’t count
Not confusion—
I don’t care right now
Something’s still missing
But maybe it’s alright
I’m finding the pieces as I write
Even today,
with callouses on my fingertips
I still reach out to touch you
and feel pain

And even today,
with lips thinned to shallow line
I still recite your verses
And though I change,

It's what you've made of me
It's what you've made of me

That lives forever
All the same
 Mar 13 miles ibarra
zoe
Her
 Mar 13 miles ibarra
zoe
Her
I was always there for you,
When you needed me the most
I never left you.

But then you met her,
You stopped talking to me
Even ignored me.

The day I needed you the most,
You weren't there and instead
You were with her.

It made me feel different,
Like someone who never existed
I felt worthless.

Stupid even to think you'll be there for me,
But you were with her instead.
Oxygen, two 'me's'
We expire
Oxygen in threes
Ozone acquired

Ménage à trois
Three the same
Cards to draw
A hand, a game

One former
Introduce carbon
A home? or,
Latter two undone?

Life & death
2:1
Gasp for breath
Toxic, run

Detectors
Cry out loud!
Defectors;
Poison we laud

Breathe deep
Or sweet release
Eternal sleep
If you please

When your atoms bond
Bonds is a poem that explores the fluid and often precarious nature of polyamorous relationships through the lens of chemistry. Using molecular structures as an extended metaphor, the poem illustrates how individuals (atoms) form bonds that can be either life-sustaining or toxic. It begins with the stability of a dyadic relationship (O₂) before shifting into the volatility of a triadic bond (O₃), highlighting the unpredictable nature of introducing a third partner.

The introduction of carbon further destabilizes the relationship, raising the question of whether new elements strengthen or destroy existing connections. As the poem progresses, it introduces carbon monoxide (CO), a silent and lethal gas, as a symbol of the ease with which one can succumb to emotional suffocation or self-destruction. The final stanzas present a choice—whether to embrace the complexities of the bonds or to surrender to an escape that is both literal and metaphorical.

The poet employs scientific language to dissect the emotional intricacies of polyamory, using chemical bonding as a framework to discuss intimacy, instability, and dissolution. By framing each individual as an atom, the poem presents relationships as inherently reactive—some bonds are strong, some transient, and others quietly corrosive. The progression from O₂ to O₃ mirrors the transition from monogamy to polyamory, highlighting both the excitement and fragility of expanding relational dynamics.

The use of carbon monoxide (CO) is particularly poignant, serving as both a literal reference to an accessible means of release and a metaphor for the slow, unnoticed suffocation that can occur within a deteriorating or imbalanced relationship. The poet subtly critiques the way people sometimes romanticize toxicity (“Poison we laud”) while also acknowledging the weight of personal agency in choosing whether to remain in or exit a connection. The closing line, “When your atoms bond,” leaves the reader with an open-ended reflection on the nature of relationships—do they create, destroy, or simply change form?

By intertwining chemistry with human emotion, the poem presents an unflinching yet poetic look at the risks, rewards, and potential consequences of forming and breaking bonds.
 Mar 13 miles ibarra
Erika
i used to spend my days
pouring myself
into the cups of others

only to find
that when it was time
for myself to take a sip

all that was left
in my cup
was the remainder of a girl
who gave

too much
I have loved you
From the moment our eyes
Met across the crowded street
On that scorching summer day

And though summer
Soon came to a bitter end
I have loved you through
Every season ever since

And I guess I always will
What’s meant stays,  
quiet and sure.  
  
True love waits,  
even when we turn away.  
  
What isn’t ours  
slips,  
like water,  
gone before we know it.
....sun will rise tomorrow

— The End —