Silent she remains
noise, sounds, buzz
absence claims,
she holds
Nothingness inside.
No future contained,
now here
in frame
prevails,
limitless, limiting life
she claims,
wordless world
lives in praise.
Disengagement, detachment, proclaims
present in vain
decision upright
she wonders in wander,
explorer great?
Fate weaves moments at will
fires flicker faint
firm foe entails
flame uncertain, peculiarly reigns
passes of fame.
World presses
models of pace
thorns born of pressure taint
her heart is torn
allegiance lame
obscure, insane
governs, forestalls
time quaint.

I spend my days telling other people not to be sad but who am I to tell others how to be happy when I have never truly found happiness by myself.

have you seen the lion sitting with her pride
happy and so proud children by her side
nursing them so gently with a watchful eye
lying in the grass  underneath the sky.

looking out for danger that may come them way
always by there side.  as they begin to play
learning them to hunt with there sight and scent
watching them so carefully happy and content.

It won't ever end
Will it?
Pain is me
Not anything else
Just pain
It doesn't end
Pain of failure
Of not being good enough
Pain of loosing
Loosing everything
It comes out in red
That is the pain I like
It is a bright spot in the black
Pain of love
Of never seeing her again
Nothing ends
A downward spiral
Drowning
Chocking
Remembering
Remembering when she was mine
Everything is pain
Words that cut deeper into my skin than I ever could
Pain of listening to skinny puppy
Pain of living
Will death be pain as well?

you lit a small flame inside of me
and then everything caught on fire

maybe
one day
we will
meet again

bumping
carts
at the
grocery store

or
walking
the dog
in the
park.

maybe
one day
we will be
okay
again,

hopefully.