i am the girls you haven’t kissed
the patch of skin below your wrist
i am the sky dark before dawn
your hair before you cut it, blonde and long
i am your neighbors window, a grocery bag
i am the best and the worst thing you’ve never had

you’ll dream of me as soon as i leave
i’ll pretend i don’t know that you watched me sleep
whispered my name, it was almost noon
wiped my eyes and swallowed the moon
thought about you on the train ride home
i’m not allowed to love you, i’ll leave you alone

Shattered dreams
and frantic streams
Of all my fear letting out screams.
I can no longer control it,  so it seems.

Constant fears,
Falling tears.
And so the darkness cheers.
I'm done with fighting after all these years.

Painful leech,
Satanic speech.
The voices screech
As the preacher began to preach.

All that's good,
And all that should.
Hiden behind a cross of wood.
To reach it, I never could.

They're pulling me back,
And that's a fact.
Hiding behind this hapiness act.
Pinning me down like paper behind a tac.

I'll never be free,
As you can see.
Drowning, I'll always be.
I'll never know why they ever chose me.

So, say "goodbye,"
And don't you cry,
For when I die,
I can finally fly.

Just keep that smile on your face,
Don't ever let it erase,
Just incase.
For when I'm gone, they'll need someone new to chase.

I am a criminal
someone who should never be allowed to touch another person
maybe the cross is not made of material you can recognize
but it is cross-wood, heavy, cedar, oozing on my garments
walking slowly uphill with no Simon to assist
and it's better that way.

Colour my eyes the brightest colour there is,
Paint my lips any colour you want,
Write poetry in place of my skin.
But don’t let anyone else read me.