i can't sleep
when i miss home
i toss and turn
all night
wishing to be in
my own bed
and when i come
to realize
the home i want
to go to
is no longer there
i cry
hoping i can
cry myself to sleep
but instead
i think about
missing home
and not sleeping

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

I’m afraid to sleep on earth
for the fear of having to fight again
battling for rest
only against myself

Past the stratosphere
no one can hear you dream
like they were trying all along

And I can’t either
which is what made it so appealing
but you can only wrestle with nothing up there
for so long
until the sky comes down again

how do you know
the right thing to say
when i do not even know
what i want to hear
when i am panicked
you know how to help
when i am sad
you know how to be there
when i am on top of the world
you are there with me
i keep asking myself
how do you know what i need
and i think it is because
you know me

i can't decide
if i will ever
let you
read my poetry
i don't know
if i can
let you in
without scaring
you away

Laying outside on a creaky old balcony,
On our backs, tangled up together in heavy blankets,
Rubbing our hands and ears
Because they’re getting numb
Thankful for the summer’s gentle night

I drew my eyes away
From the graceful Venus in the South,
A lone golden light shining wistfully
And I finally found the shape of the Big Dipper.
I stare at its lowest corners’ bright star,
An unfathomable size, and even greater distance away
Making me feel infinitely small
Infinitely calm
I trace with my gaze its tail
As icy white sparks fly lightning fast
Through the dripping-ink sky
And burn out faster than a blink,
Barely caught by our drifting eyes

The three of us talk, I sing, maybe to stay awake or maybe to pass the time
Bohemian Rhapsody’s bittersweet melody never sounded so pleasing to me as at 2 in the morning.
Our chatter of secrets is punctuated by gasps
Of us pointing out those bright streaks

We all make wishes,
For love, for luck, for answers
As celestial raindrops keep reaching across the sky
One bright orange jewel with a lavender tail
Burns beautifully by

I wonder why people make wishes upon something that’s dying,
Though spectacular, at the end of its life
“People wish upon things of the heavens”
Is your beautiful reply.

she would not
say goodbye
instead
she said
see you soon
and for that
i will never be
more grateful

when you left
i cried
but somehow
when i returned home
i smiled
i felt reassured
you know me
you get me
you understand me
thank you
for being the first person
to read my poetry
and the last person
to make me realize
i am worth something
you mean the world to me
you gave me a home
when i never thought
i would feel at home again
you gave me your hand
and helped me find mine
you were
the first person
to read my poetry
and the last person
i will ever really
say goodbye to