Have you forgotten?
The Iron
The Fire
The hammer and anvil of it all
The pile of **** and scrap metal
The dirt ore heap in the corner of your soul
The useless heavy burden
On your shoulders, and in the heart of you

Have you forgotten the forging and the beating
The sweating and the bleeding
The swing and the crash,
And the pain and the smash;
The heat from the fires that purify
And the hiss from the waters that solidify
Have you missed the bending and folding
and the way that you're constantly molding?

Have you forgotten
You are the hammer
You are the anvil
You are the iron and the forge fire
That creates the steel of your character
The sharp sweeping sword of your soul
For no one else can change you
Except for you

So slam the hammer down!
Swing it without flinching
Tense yourself, your muscles your nerves and sinews
Grit your teeth and clench your jaw
Grip the metal like a white knuckled vice of certainty
Focus on the spot and
Slam the Hammer Down!
Beat it into something useful
Beat if into something beautiful
Beat it with meaning for it is meaningful!
Did you forget that!

No, You did not forget
You dreamed of throwing it off,
You dreamed of being rid of it
You  hoped to wake one day
And find that it had melted away

But

“You cannot dream yourself into a character:
you must hammer and forge yourself into one.”
― Henry David Thoreau

let me be your laugh when you thought you could only scream

I see fire
burning in the eyes
of a gunman.
I see fire
burning in the smile
of a terrorist.
I see fire
burning in the fingertips
of a child molester.
I see fire
burning in the hearts
of the people who want to make a difference.

not everybody is perfect, but that's the point.

Do you know what its like to watch a man die?
to watch the blood spill from his head
like when you turn the faucet on to wash your hands
before you go to eat dinner
Do you know what its like to helplessly watch a man die?
as he is gasping for breath
while you breathe in fresh air
unable to share
Do you know what its like to wait for the police to arrive?
how deafening, terrifying that wait is
its like when someone tells you news that's so devastating you don't even think to cry you're just stuck in a transfix

They say you feel sympathy for others when you do not understand
but this was so much more than sympathy
more than the fact that I was beyond devastated
I feel as if I should have been that man
and I felt guilty that all I could do was scream and sit there with him
while I felt his soul leave his body

Do you know what its like to watch a man die?
because I do.