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I am now a natural gem,
A mix of murk and clear,
Different colors or shades.

I am now a healed piece of earth,
A patch of glow over the ashes of disease,
Diverse as I breathe in fresh air.
The water comes and brings the earth,
The earth turns to ash as the fire rolls in,
The fire's ash turns into the wind,
The wind brings the water again.
The smoke dissolves in my lungs. A constellation  of bright stars forms in the depths of your eyes, weaving a language of orchestral, luminous memories—one that cannot fathom the endless possibilities of your devotion.

Maybe if I write these words and keep them inside my dismantled heart, love will come to find me. Maybe in a thousand abysses that grieve love, the heavens and the earth will entwine their fresh waters and frozen tears; faint sheets of light will envelop my already soul-weary skin and thus will seep in like a sun gently fleeting its warm light into the night sky, sojourning in the consoling darkness until dawn.

And if I tell you, that I have so much love to give, would you grow thorns and leave me in the cold, barren night like a stray dog, or would you come running across the ends of the earth—tiptoeing in bedazzling stars and soft sands, rushing into me?
I’ve been productive for the past few weeks, and I don’t understand why there’s still room for me to long for something that I can’t have just yet. I’ve been spending my time writing in my journal for all the times that I feel like I’m yearning for something more than love. Something more than comfort, and I hate to admit this, but I’ve become a prisoner of fantasy, I long for my own fairy tale. That my own heart chokes me.

Sparks - Coldplay
A little girl, sitting by the ocean.
She's quietly listening to the tides.
Making her forget all the commotion.
The sound would take over, thoughts leave through sighs.

As she grew up she searched for that soft tune.
In every little thing that she could find.
Until stars aligned in the afternoon,
And the universe said we were divined.

Love, you remind me of the very thing,
That I adore than most all on the earth.
So it's you to whom I'll be listening.
It's your music that's making my days worth.

Now I stay basking in your soothing waves.
My ocean, promise you'll hold me always.
What are we now?
A half-buried sentence
A message delivered to
The wrong address
I reach for you and touch nothing
I hate the squatter in my skull
Your voice pacing my corridors
Your face nailed to the
Backs of my eyelids
You’re gone
But I still wear your fingerprints
Like burns
The safest place I ever knew
Has collapsed
The walls I leaned against
Are rubble in my throat
I gag on dust
I choke on your ghost
Everyone tells me to “move on,”
Like it’s just a switch I forgot to flick
But your absence is marrow-deep
It hums through bone
A phantom limb jerking at nothing
I want to amputate the thought of you
But the blade keeps turning back
Into my own skin
You are everything
And nothing
And I am stuck in the wreckage
Beating my fists against a locked door
Leading to nowhere
Grief stitched into muscle memory
His absence throbs like severed bone
A wound that refuses silence
-Sorelle
HER
i have seen the heaven created in you—  
one they could not understand.  
and so they named it wrong,  
because they could not hold what they feared in their hand.  

you were fire, and i the very same.  
they said we’d burn the world down—  
but all we ever wanted was to be warm.  

her touch: psalm.  
her gaze: prayer.  
and still, they call it sin—  
as if holiness can’t wear soft skin and hold my hand.  

they could not understand  
that when she loves me,  
the sky listens more closely  
and the stars stay a little longer.  

her eyes, gently pulling me in—  
her gaze sweeping me beneath her tides  
as i pry to the surface  
to utter her sacred name.  

and even the breath feels borrowed,  
as if the universe conspired to see it through.  

how can my sin be love?  
oh, they would never understand.
i wish i could listen to my heart and block the world's voice
 Jul 2 evangeline
r
Sun hid his smile away
on a cloudy day
o'er Carolina

Moon she cried
thought he had died
for a love he left behind
across the line from Carolina

At night he dwells
in her emotion
an ocean of the bluest tears
that ever fell on Carolina
on a cloudy day
when the sun forgot to shine.

r ~ 8/9/14
\¥/\
  |    Blue waves in Carolina
/ \
 Jul 2 evangeline
Torin
There's a song inside of me
You wouldn't sing
Coming from the city of queens,
There's a light I want to see
You wouldn't show
I'm far from the city glow

And ****** Carolina
Can't you see?
The way you're killing me
You gave me life
You gave me love
And then took it all away

There's a hand I used to hold
The skin grew cold
I couldn't feel the same as I did,
There's a song inside of me
You wouldn't sing
I'm sick of all you're whistling

****** Carolina
You could be the one
To make me feel like I'm in love again
You gave me time
You gave me hope
And then you took it all away

****** Carolina
If you took the time to realize
Maybe I wasn't always wrong
And there are demons on your shoulder
You hear
Do you hear?
I only hope you understand

****** Carolina
Can't you see?
The way you're killing me
 Jul 1 evangeline
mae
Love, like petals of a blooming flower,
Roses of rubies, lilies of pearl.
A skin as though of jasmine
that August evening…was it August?

I created you in a hazy vision
when my mind was drunk with sleep -
Are you a dreamer too?
 Jul 1 evangeline
mae
i slept in the arms of cities
with no names,
listened to taxis like lullabies
while the moon
pushed its hips against my window.
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