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  Dec 2020 eva-mae coffey
people see smoldering flames  
crawling up her veins
and think of empires collapsing into ash,

people watch her eyes spark
and feel her calloused electricity
and they convince themselves of her power  

she broods and she intimidates    
and they think she is strong
and they think she is dangerous
and they are afraid of her fire

even though the only thing she tries to destroy
is herself.
eva-mae coffey Dec 2020
“There’s always tomorrow”
My ever-hopeful heart harmonizes with the blackbird on my windowsill.
But even tomorrow would not matter if nothing changed between us.
Tomorrow will come and go forever if we do nothing now.
its time to act.
eva-mae coffey Dec 2020
Don't forgive his crimes just
because he can kiss them better.
I see his stained hands
every time I close my eyes.
I can’t escape the whispered lies,
they ring in my ears like a constant-
Hush! You wouldn’t want them to hear us.

I still feel his hands wrenching my wrist.
Remember how I wished his grip
Would loosen, if only a little.
Thought of the tenderness love
Was supposed to connote,
as the blood dripped persistently
into my throat.

It was then that I realized.
With nothing left in me,
that anything is better than
Being worshipped, forcibly.
one day you will regret this.
  Dec 2020 eva-mae coffey
Send me an guide me
As I search for the words
To mold a dream
To her heart's desire
Like a lotus flower in full bloom
Her poetry, danced upon the shore
Welcomed, into the Earth
She could slip
Through your fingers like water
To breathe no more
Love no more
Hurt no more
Find peace again
Her light within the darkness

  Dec 2020 eva-mae coffey
I always considered it a
and I did not allow it
to be a part of me.
I just went wherever it lead,
tried not to ask too many questions,
and welcomed the distraction.
Then one day,
I sat down
in front of my typewriter (or whatever I chose
to believe it was),
and as I began to punch
the words in as usual,
I found oddly
that nothing came.
I looked around
and noticed that it was
The same room
And the lights above me
spat out its steady
white glow.
I heard the faint echo of a ticking clock
from down the hallway
and I could not hear it stop.
It was 1 am
much too early for anything of significance
to happen.
No smoke, no flames, no music.
And I couldn't
for the life of me recall
why I was
sitting in front of my typewriter
alone at 1 am.
Perhaps, I thought
I never really did.

You don't remember exactly when
you loose it
or why
or how.
Quite unceremonious actually.
But in time
it hits you
when you're walking down to the corner store
to grab some milk
or helping your little sister
fold up washed blankets
to keep under your pillows.
like a coat
being lifted off of your shoulders
as you're warm and drunk
and leaning in to the firm, comforting grip
of a kind stranger.
Suddenly, everything clears
although you're fairly certain
that it shouldn't.
You start noticing
that you forget things
so you try and remember what they were.
You remembered later
about your medicines
so you took them like you were supposed to that night
and the next night
and the night after that.
You remembered how
breathless you felt
after you hung up the christmas lights
on the front porch
with your mother,
so you decided to
jog 2 miles a day
every evening
to get back into shape.
It comes to your notice
once again
that you are an arrogant, selfish *****,
with a an astonishing capacity
for ignorance,
but this time
you know exactly what that means
and you find yourself
writing down
what you plan to do about it.
And one day
very much like today
as you realize that you've finally made it,
that the slopes behind you
have already dissolved into
you will notice how
how ******* painful it is
to punch out these lines,
this frail attempt
at a poem
to prove to a person
that you are no longer broken
and therefore
you do not know who you are anymore.

The best ones though,
will not come of sickness.
The best ones
you will do
for a few
dangerous individuals.
For those who have told you
to stand your ground.
For those
whose memories
you are grateful to possess.
For those
in front of whom
you have allowed yourself
to collapse.
And especially for those people
who terrify you
for what you might do
to them
and them to you.

Thank you for existing.
Help me good down grateful
Not bitter, not afraid

Help them in the darkness
Help them where games are played

Trains still crisscross Europe
Asia still has rains

Hopeful thoughts still make their way
Through hopeful human brains

A little happiness
In whatever time still remains
  Dec 2020 eva-mae coffey
just because you loved him
longer than the rest,
it doesn’t mean
he’s the love of your life

darling, that’s all you
i’m on my own now

and i like it this way
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