You sent tremors of earth-quaking nerves through me
My tongue burned
My hands shook
Breathing was slow, fiery heaves of hopelessness

I carry a chest that is gutted hollow
Filled with leaden sadness
I choke on with each swallow

Silence muttered tears of shame
It cackled disappointment in my ears
You knifed words into my chest
Cracking my ribs
Tearing my skin
Tattooing my heart with your name
Although you swore you weren't mine

I'm sick of thinking about you
Thinking things over again and through
I broke me before you could
I tore my veins out
Ripped my seams
Shattered my skin
Reminded myself of all the things that couldn't have been

I carry a chest that is gutted hollow
Filled with leaden sadness
I choke on with each swallow

I released storms of pain
Letting it wreak havoc inside my brain
Self destruction
Build up
Break down construction

I'm tired of having you on my mind
Tired of your name on the tip of my tongue
Choking with every word expressed
Twist tied wrists
Bleeding ears remiss

I carry a chest that is gutted hollow
Filled with leaden sadness
I choke on with each swallow

Raw hurt blooms softly in my chest
With each morose, ragged breath
Everywhere I turn
You blur my vision purpled grays

You consume my head
As a drugged smoke
Seeping into my nerves
I scream hoping to shake you free
I sob hoping to rid myself of your toxic love
Desperate with each heaving shove

I carry a chest that is gutted hollow
Filled with leaden sadness
I choke on with each swallow

Silent rebellion of loud tears
I crumple to the floor of my heart
My hands shake
Breathing is slow heaves of fiery hopelessness
I swallow you in tiny circles
My hands shake
Breathing is slow wisps of death

Overpowering urges self destruction
numbness c ra cks and reseals
deep
    trenches
cut out
in the shape of your name

The feeling's queasy
somersault through my
twisted veins
blind rage encapsulated by a sad
blackened
frame

Bruises and scars fade
but the        coursing
pain will
forever    remain
a dark
heavy trotting
reign

Horse hooves crater my heart
collision beat
of a marching bands feet

my heart
my heart

is screaming in the dark
the shadow slightly falls

my heart
my heart

Inject your unknowing poison
I feel the sting
as it rips fire to my insides
your hands leave chemical burns
as you squeeze my lungs

I fall to my knees
weakness writhes in numb defeat
pull the tide
hold it in my hands
sending it crashing
to wash over you again

That's when I first tasted the burn of this world
the bitter taster of disappointment
the stabbing of my heart
the waterfalls of sorrow

My eyes have died
their light no longer lives
I shrivel and crumble
with a slow
dull
ache

I do not scream out
destroy my sand castles
burn my bridges
knock my buildings down

dynamite love
dynamite love

I wander with a brain blown to bits
I scavenge every
scrap
          of m u t ilated so-called-love
I am dynamite
          you are matches
all that stood between us
was a wick of string
          and time.

I'll stay awake tonight
I'll make sure our memory
stays
alive

I'll wrap it up
hold it close
give it warmth
rock it back and forth

I won't let it grow cold
I won't let it's light die out
I

I will hold it in my heart
let it set me on fire
orange burns flaming blue

finality drops like a gavel
resounding
echo
ring

endsclashwithbeginnings
as sunrises and nights do

my stomach tips
tipsy containing all of you
my lips they
burn
from         dragging     you in
I smoke you
and

I

I choke on your
                sickeningly
                         sweet
                               poison
you
fill
my lungs
deflate my kerosine heart

your love
burned me
up
my skyscrapers
down

coldly hollow
winded room
with blown out candle thoughts

lifeless eyes
     c rac ked
window panes
the glass you  
                touched
was frigidly warm
with nocturnal sapphire gleams

my door sits ajar
but you knock          continually
banging
my wooden paneled frames

splinter me through
rapture
my shores of endless sores

I

I am

I am begging
you
to light me on fire
               set me ablaze once more

power hold of gripping electric lies
did it give you some
sick
twisted
satisfaction to break me
          down
to shove my head
underwater
and force me to
         drown?

The aftershocks
Ripple rash anger consuming my frame.

****** duels with metal swords of rage
That slice innocence in half.

Irrational self-destruction,
Showing signs of weak malfunction.
Boiling blood gurgling through my veins.

How do I dare let such a horror rule my weak blackened hands?

Snarling fangs,
Foaming rabid with distain, puncture my brain.
Ripping pride and ego to bloodied shreds.

Failure, weakness, defeat,
Their sharp clawed feet incessantly transfix me.  

Agonizing.
Inflicting purposeful pain,
The need to destroy shall grind me to a pulp.

Evil is ruling a twisted game.
Queen of Hearts.  
King of Spades.

Gnawing at my bones, my tendons snap.
Eyes of fire that could torch one’s soul, encase a beastly rage.
I roar,
Thrashing and afraid.