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Emma Jean Bell Aug 2015
How much of a sin would it be to sell your soul to someone you love,
I don't mean have an individual put a price to a moral belonging we as humans have.
I mean selling your heart,
Your wholesome will,
Your life,
Your soul.
Leaving you to lack the power of being a alive.
You sold yourself to feel meaning.
To feel purpose.
But what purpose other than to please another human?
To physically and mentally **** yourself dry,
the grim reaper of emotions.
Not physically dying, not evaporating from existance on this earth.
Your beating heart and breathing body still walk among us,
but you are without life,
for this person you have sold your soul to has ****** the living being out of you.
So this is Death without dying,
Suicide without eternal silence.
For, why isnt that a Sin?
August 17th, 1:00 am.
Tell me what you think.
Emma Jean Bell Aug 2015
Unfortunately the dust has built up on a letter i wrote to you filled with fear,
a transparent way of combining my fears and infatuation for you.
I expressed my fears in ink, but also in dust,
for i never felt worthy enough,
that letter was never sent.
Fear a word that describes what still overpowers the vibration of atoms formed into the image of me, never able to express, never able to breathe.
I have hidden behind a persona of intelligence and speaking with lack of emotions,
a persona i have used to cover up my deep insecurities.
Deep like the ocean blue,
Im drowning in my own ocean, metaphorically speaking my insecurities are the liquid in which forms around me,
and it has become a way of life.
To feel this way, is to not feel at all.
To live this way, is to not live at all.
My heart may beat, but for what purpose?
103 beats per minute, minutes.
It beats because of time.
Time is everything, and time with you is everything to me.
This is a journal entry of mine from July 10th, 5:10 pm.

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