I am not a book
you can use and return to the shelf
as you please

I am not glass
you can shatter
when your anger overtakes you

I am not a fragile rose
I will not fall apart
at your lack of light


I am a girl with big dreams and high hopes
I will not let you turn me into anything else.

My legs are weak from the miles they've run
trying to escape the reflection of the mirror
stretch marks all across them are
the battle scars from the wars
I have waged against myself
My throat sore
from the many times it has fought back
my attempts to empty myself
and spill the remains of my soul
down the drain
My hands are no longer soft
having held items far too sharp for their own good
My wrists scarred from being the bulls-eye
of arrows I chose to shoot
My eyes are no longer lovely
they display blood-red veins
from the bullets that've been fired at them
      
My body is a battlefield and I'm pleading surrender.

If my daughter ever comes to me
and asks me if I think she is pretty
I will say NO
You are so much more than pretty
you are beautiful
If my daughter ever comes to me
with tears stains on her face
telling me her heart's been broken
by the boy she thought was the one
even though she may only be 14, or 16, or 21
I will not ask who it was
I will simply hold her until the pain stops
whether it be minutes or hours
or even days
and buy her some chocolate, of course
If my daughter ever comes to me
and shows me the scars on her wrists
and her legs
and her sides
I will not look away horrified
I will simply show her
how a little bit of time
and a little bit of cream
can heal all wounds
even those of the heart
If my daughter ever comes to me
and shows me her sharp hip bones jutting out
and her soft ribcage peeking out
I will not call her crazy or any awful name
I will simply hold her soft enough
that her bones may not break
and walk her along the
all too familiar path to recovery
If my daughter ever comes to me
bleeding and bruised
because he didn't know
what no meant
I will not make her feel *****
I will not make her feel worthless
I will not ask why she didn't stop him
I will simply calm her victimized heart
and show her the many ways to ****
a man or a woman
if they ever touch her without her consent again
I will not judge her
for the many nights she may fall asleep crying
Instead I will prepare her a cup of tea,
buy her some inspirational movies,
write her some poems
and give her some books
Because I know broken souls
cannot be fixed over-night
I will let her buy dresses
that make her feel beautiful
and will not laugh at her
if she chooses to wear them with tennis shoes
I will let her stay home from school
every once in a while
even if I know she is faking it
because I know we all need a break sometimes
and I know that school isn't the only place
you can learn valuable life lessons
If my daughter ever comes to me
with a small child in her arms
one whom was not exactly planned
one whom has no father
I will step in and be that father
I will be her help

But most importantly
If my daughter EVER comes to me
and confesses her mental illness
I will not doubt her
I will not mock her
I will simply smile at her
and assure her she is not alone
and will get the means for help
For I never want her to know
what lonely tastes like